The Colombiana Download
reneliThe Colombiana Download
http://urllio.com/r2uzdA young woman, after witnessing her parents' murder as a child in Bogota, grows up to be a stone-cold assassin.
A young woman grows up to be a stone-cold assassin after witnessing her parents' murder as a child in Bogota. She works for her uncle as a hitman by day, but her personal time is spent engaging in vigilante murders that she hopes will lead her to her ultimate target - the mobster responsible for her parents' death.
My expectations towards movies tend to go down when it comes to certain genres. Girls with guns is one of these typ of movies. I don't expect great characters and I certainly don't expect masterpiece writing. I don't really care about originality when it comes to these films so I don't judge a movie by that. But what I do want is a build up of conflict and that can be achieved through the most basic Hollywood formula. Colombiana fails even at that.<br/><br/>First I'm going to address the writing which is terrible in terms of plot, characters and dialogue.<br/><br/>The story starts with a gratuitously long and obligatory sad childhood exposition without making us care for the protagonist. It sets up the stage for a revenge action movie but we just don't care. This movie could have gone through the editing room a few more times or better yet a bunch of re-writes.<br/><br/>Now when we finally see the adult version of our protagonist, things actually improve. It introduces our protagonist as an intelligent and stealthy badass and convinces the audience that she can do what she's meant to do: kill people. This was entertaining.<br/><br/>Then we're introduced to Zoe Saldana's boyfriend whose name I've forgotten (we'll get to the crappy characters later) and they have a little romantic moment. I don't know how this subplot contributes to the main story...but then we go back to Zoe Saldana killing another target, a scene straight out of a Himan video game: the fat old man in robes lying down in bed with two prostitutes and a bunch of guards standing about.<br/><br/>Zoe points a gun at her target and says, "it doesn't matter who I am." This is the perfect example of how stupid the dialogue is in this film. Of course it's impotant who she is. Imagine if Inigo Montoya killed Count Rugen without identifying himself as the son of the man he killed. But hey that line sounded pretty cool in the trailer right? <br/><br/>In another instance, Zoe Saldana says, "I'm not going to kill you," and shoots the glass floor and then her target falls into the shark pool. This is worse than Batman leaving someone on a falling train and saying that he didn't kill him.<br/><br/>So naturally Zoe goes back to...her boyfriend. They have sex for a moment and we get to see some nudity through which I finally understand the basic reason behind this boyfriend character's existence. The sex stops and he suddenly wants to know more about her, because that's what happens when guys have sex. She in return doesn't want to tell him where she's from or what her job is, but let me ask a perfectly sensible question, "then why have a boyfriend?"<br/><br/>Then Zoe goes to kill another target. Then she comes back for more sex. Then she goes to kill another target. Then she comes back for sex. Do you see what I mean by saying this movie's a loop? It's just killing and sex over and over again. This isn't building conflict.<br/><br/>And my God are the cops stupid in this film. They wait for Zoe to kill 23 people before starting to do something about it. All the while Zoe's Uncle warns her she's going to draw attention to the family. Zoe's pretty cool with that until feces hit the fan and she just drops to her knees and cries, "I didn't know!" Even though her uncle warned her.<br/><br/>In the climax Zoe goes for her last kill. This isn't entertaining or climactic in any sense. This is proof that this movie just went in loops instead of building a story. The whole movie's just a flat line. This film is stupid and unnecessary; avoid it!
That Luc Bessson (the TRANSPORTER series, LA FEMME NIKITA, etc) wrote this sprawling blood bath (with Robert Mark Kamen) is a bit of a surprise. Usually Beeson's scripts are smart, clever, and witty despite the gore. This time the cake fell. Perhaps the sludge is due to director Olivier Megaton's obsession with jumping out of windows and gory assassinations that prevents this film from taking flight because he certainly has a cast that could have given him much more.<br/><br/>!0 year old Cataleya (Amandla Stenberg) witnesses her parents deaths by the ruling mob in Bogata Colombia in 1992 and is aided in escape to the USA by unique means where she is adopted by the Restrepos (Cliff Curtis). Instead of school Cataleya wants to become a killer to avenge her patents murder: Restrepo bargains with her - school first then he will teach her how to kill. Jump 15 years and Cataleya (Zoe Saldana) is a full blown assassin, working as a hitwoman as a day job and seeking out her parents killers by night. Through a series of +/- creative disguises and escapes Cataleya continues to murder, falls in love with and artist (MIchael Vartan), fools the police (Lennie James), avoids the complicit FBI ( Callum Blue) and continues her struggle to kill the persons of interest - Jodri Mollà, Beto Benites and Jesse Borrego. Is it all resolved after the bad guys are all dead? No, because there is the suggestion of a sequel!<br/><br/>Good actors, sloppy script, redundant violence, noise, and lots of blood - if that is what lights your fire, this is a movie for you. <br/><br/>Grady Harp
A movie so addicted to the crack pipe of delirious cinematic badness that it has real potential as a camp classic.
"The Fade Out Line" by Phoeboe Killdeer & The Short Straws. There are three versions: the U.S. theatrical, the international, and an unrated cut targeted for so-called home theater use in the States. The US theatrical version is most censored to obtain its PG-13 rating (for violence, disturbing images, intense sequences of action, sexuality and brief strong language). It has not been made available for home cinema use. Beside it's US theatrical release, the PG-13 version is only available as rental DVD in the USA or as Video on Demand. It has been heavily censored from its original version. <br/><br/>The European theatrical version was longer, leaving some intensive scenes. The Unrated version is approximately four minutes longer than the international version and features some extended action and story sequences. a5c7b9f00b