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By Eve Buckland For Mailonline 08:56 BST 20 Nov 2020 , updated 09:09 BST 20 Nov 2020
Halle Berry has revealed she had her first orgasm when she was 11. 
The Catwoman actress, 54, spoke about her first experience of exploring her sexuality when she and friend Lindsay Flores were asked a series of sex-related questions for their 'Bad & Booshy' series on Instagram. 
Halle recalled: 'I remember my first orgasm... I did it to myself.'
Lindsay asked how old she was, to which Halle replied: '11.'
She added: 'I was diddling. I was figuring out my sexuality, like most girls.'
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But, when the pair were asked to spill the details on their 'craziest sexual escapades', Halle refused to answer.
Meanwhile, it was recently claimed that the former Bond girl and her boyfriend Van Hunt's 'chemistry is through the roof'.
The Hollywood star - who has 12-year-old Nahla with former boyfriend Gabriel Aubry and seven-year-old Maceo with ex-husband Olivier Martinez - has fallen head over heels with the 50-year-old musician, who has taught her to 'love again'.
A source said: 'She's had some negative experiences [with men] but Van has taught her to love again — and love herself.
'He's a wonderful, caring man. Their chemistry is through the roof.'
The couple made their relationship Instagram official in September, when Halle posted a picture of herself donning a t-shirt with the musician's name emblazoned across it and tagged him in it.
In July, the 'Gothika' star sparked speculation she had a new man when she shared a picture of her feet playing footsie with a male in bed during a romantic birthday trip to Las Vegas.
And in the caption for the snap in the Van merchandise, Halle wrote: 'now ya know...', along with the foot emoji and a black love heart.
The picture of the feet was captioned: 'Waking up Vegas! Thank you for all the beautiful birthday wishes from my friends and my very supportive and loyal fans!
Halle Berry shares intense three step workout with her trainer
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'You ALL helped to make my birthday extra special.'
Van also shared snaps on his own page on the photo-sharing app, and even posted an intimate photo of Halle leaning in to give him a kiss on the cheek.
He wrote underneath it: 'Kisses land softly.' 
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Halle Berry reveals she had her first orgasm aged 11
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My husband hasn’t given me an orgasm for three years
Put ­intercourse aside for now, says Annalisa Barbieri, and think about sensuality without a goal
‘What would you say to your husband if he wrote this letter?’ Illustration: Lo Cole/The Guardian
Last modified on Mon 22 Mar 2021 07.51 GMT
I have been married to my husband for seven years and we have been together for 10. In the beginning, the sex was amazing. But after he joined the military, his sex drive went down and he became depressed whenever we were separated for long periods. There was some infidelity between the two of us, which we managed to overcome through marriage counselling. We learned how to better communicate and support each other.
My husband has since left the military, and that has brought us closer together, but our sex life has been lacklustre for the past three years. We have tried talking about it, but my husband has not given me a proper orgasm in that time, and I don’t know how to change that. I’ve told him what I like in the bedroom, and he’s made some effort. But he hates giving me oral sex – and it’s the main way I can have an orgasm.
Also, his overall stamina has dropped dramatically. Every time we have sex, it’s rushed; I don’t feel satisfied. I don’t know how to convey my concerns without emasculating him. How can I tell him that he is not fulfilling my needs, without hurting his feelings? I feel our marriage hangs in the balance of trying to reconnect emotionally and physically.
What happened three years ago? I feel that is something worth exploring. Also, quite a lot seems to have been connected to him joining and leaving the military – what happened? Did he suffer trauma? Has his depression been addressed?
Despite the counselling (well done for that), there still seems a lot that has been left unsaid between the two of you. Communication in a relationship is something that needs regular maintenance, not something you attend to once and then never again. Were you able to properly communicate via counselling? If so, that bodes well, as some couples can’t. But, you might need to look at counselling again with a trained sexual counsellor. Has the hurt from both your affairs been healed?
There was a sterility to your letter – it all seemed quite businesslike. Is that how you see your relationship – as a series of transactions? What would you say to your husband if he wrote this letter?
I consulted Cate Mackenzie, a sexual and relationship counsellor (cosrt.org.uk). “No one,” Mackenzie said, “‘gives’ you an orgasm [when in a couple situation]. It’s co-created. Are you orgasming on your own? What is your relationship with your own erotic self like?” If you orgasm by yourself (ie without oral sex), is this something you could translate into doing with your husband?
Mackenzie thought that in order to start communicating – and really listening to one another – you need to meet in a neutral place, where there are no expectations of either of you. She also felt you could put intercourse aside for now and think about “sensuality without a goal”. She recommended True Pleasures: A Memoir Of Women In Paris by Lucinda Holdforth, a book about eroticism, and also suggested “engaging yourself in something pleasurable every day for 30 days, from a self-massage to a cup of tea in a sumptuous cafe”. She also said, “I wondered how you are both feeding this relationship, or if you understand each other’s own arousal.”
People keep asking why I don’t have children. I don’t know what to say
It’s easy to boil a relationship down to sex. But what else is there to yours? “There is a feeling that you are treating each other a little like objects, as if you are using each other to get off rather than connecting. Sex is arousing when you find out what turns you both on.” Do you both feel safe with each other? Do you trust each other with your feelings?
Mackenzie suggested an effective way to communicate is to always start with “I” statements. Look up The Daily Temperature Reading by Virginia Satir, which suggests starting conversations with either, 1) An appreciation: “I love it when you do X”; 2) A puzzle: “I wonder if we could?”; 3) A request: “Can we talk about/explore/try?” The key is to “express longing, without making your husband feel in the wrong. An expectation can make someone close up.”
Don’t lose heart. “When couples get stuck sexually,” Mackenzie said, “this can be a real opportunity to reconnect anew.”
Every week Annalisa Barbieri addresses a family-related problem sent in by a reader. If you would like advice from Annalisa on a family matter, please send your problem to ask.annalisa@theguardian.com. Annalisa regrets she cannot enter into personal correspondence. Submissions are subject to our terms and conditions: see gu.com/letters-terms.
Comments on this piece are premoderated to ensure the discussion remains on the topics raised by the article. Please be aware that there may be a short delay in comments appearing on the site.
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