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New analysis was presented yesterday by the National Longitudinal Lesbian Family Study regarding same-sex sexual activity amongst 17-year-olds. The NLLFS was comparing their numbers to numbers obtained from The U.S. National Survey of Family Growth to figure out if lesbian parents inspire their children to engage in excess homosexual romps, as the anti-gays so vehemently believe. Unsurprisingly enough, there was no significant difference in same-sex activity between the daughters of gay parents and the daughters of straight parents.
However, another tidbit mentioned in their research brief was an overlooked statistic from the National Survey of Family Growth report — that in addition to a significant drop in heterosexual sexual activity between the NSFG's 6th cycle (2002) and 7th cycle (2006-2008) for 17-year-old girls (63% vs. 46%), there has been a massive increase in same-sex activity — 5% in 2002 compared to 11% in 2006-2008.

We can only imagine that number is higher now, as over the last three years more and more women have been exposed to Shane, the internet, and this flowchart.
There aren't any numbers on the sexual identity of seventeen year olds specifically from the NSFG, but they do tell us that amongst 18-19-year-old females, 1.9% identify as gay and 5.8% as bisexual. So clearly the correlation between "making out with girls" and "dating girls" is as weak as it's ever been.
Which brings me to another study we wrote about in October regarding the percentage of straight girls who wanted to fingerbang and/or cuddle and/or fantasize about other women. Namely, we'd like to talk about how most of what we said turns out to be total baloney!
In October, we told you about the new study from Boise State University which allegedly indicated that 60% of heterosexual women were attracted to other women. Despite the fact that we all know this to be true because straight girls are like, obsessed with us, the way that data was presented by our sources, which included The Advocate and The Huffington Post, was both titillating and super-problematic. Many of you questioned the 60% number as being suspiciously high. Without access to the study on which those articles were based, we just had to take their word for it, and we shouldn't have.
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Luckily, intrepid reader Alice used her University Status to nab me a copy of that study, and so now I'm delighted to share a less problematic analysis of that survey with you!
For starters, the purpose of the survey wasn't to figure out how many girls wanted to make out with girls, unfortunately. (Because shouldn't EVERY survey be about that?) The researchers state the study's purpose like this:
This study assesses and describes sexual orientation questioning processes of heterosexual-identified women and offers a comparison of these processes with those employed by their sexual-minority counterparts.
The sample — 333 female undergraduate psychology students at a "Northern California Public University" who elected to participate in the survey as part of a course assignment — was not intended to replicate or represent the population at large. The study was evaluating/comparing narratives, not counting people.
So, Morgan and Thompson split the sample size into three groups: heterosexual women who had questioned their orientation (n=154), heterosexuals who hadn't questioned their orientation (n=74) and "sexual minority women" (n=105). So basically what we're dealing with here is probably UC-Berkeley, let's be real, and the sample is 33% queer, so already we're not looking at a highly abnormal sample of American women.
The 60% number, then, is merely part of the description of Morgan and Thompson's study group's demographics. Using that number to draw numerical conclusions about the rest of the population would be the equivalent of saying that the fact that 14% of her study group identified as Asian-American means 14% of American Women are Asian-American.
Within the group of heterosexual "questioning" women, Morgan and Thompson found that 60% said they'd participated in "light same-sex kissing," 43% had "made out" with another woman and 4% had given oral sex to another women. But that's not really the point.
Part of what made those numbers seem so suspect was their significant variance from the authoritative analysis made by The National Survey of Family Growth, which found 83.3% of all women (of all orientations) between 18-44 reported being attracted exclusively to the opposite sex (therefore 16.7% report at least some same-sex attraction). 77% of 20-24 year old women are exclusively attracted to the opposite sex and 82.4% of 19-year olds are.
So, basically, the real number of heterosexual women between the ages of 18-44 who did not select "only attracted to men" as their sexual attraction is about 11%. And the number of ALL women of all orientations between 18-44 who report having some same-sex sexual contact is 12.5%.
Furthermore, 9.3% of ALL women aged 15-44 reported having oral sex with female partners, including 7% of 15-19 year-olds and 11.2% of 20-24 year-olds.
What's also especially interesting is that ultimately, over twice as many women as men report having had any same-sex sexual contact in their lifetime (12.5% via 5.2%). Also, nearly three times as many women as men reported any same-sex partners in the past 12 months (11.7% compared with 4.3%)
The National Survey of Family Growth also found that 1.1% of 18-44 yr old women identify as lesbian and 3.5% of 18-44 yr old women identify as bisexual. Of the bisexual women surveyed, only 35% said they were more attracted to men than women and 62% either preferred women or felt equally attracted to both. [If y'all manage to create a flame war out of that statistic, I'm going to put a curse on all of you.]
The Williams Institute evaluated eleven recent US and international surveys that ask sexual orientation or gender identity questions to come up with their numbers: 3.5% of adults in the US identify as lesbian, gay or bisexual; this equals about 9 million LGBT people in America. These are the numbers they got from each survey:
Obviously there's a lot of theories about why more females report same-sex activity than men — among them the fact that girl-on-girl action is far more socially acceptable (and even encouraged) (though also, I hate saying that, because it's not "girl-on-girl action" that's more socially acceptable, it's "straight girl-on-girl action" or "traditionally attractive in a feminine way girl-on-girl action."), that female friendships are super-special and intimate, that lots of people like to say that male bisexuality doesn't exist even though it does, and that women are just really lovely to look at and touch. Also, a woman might be more apt to "experiment" with something she might end up not enjoying than a man because a woman does not need to get an erection in order to do so.
So what conclusions can we draw from all of these numbers that are swirling around in your head? Probably something like : 17 out of every 100 girls are curious about making out with you, 11 out of every 100 girls are interested in making out with you and 4 out of every 100 will want to date you. Happy hunting!

This post originally appeared on Autostraddle. Republished with permission.
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I've heard somewhere, and tend to agree with, the idea that some heterosexual women prefer girl-on-girl stuff because it's generally more loving. So, I'll take my sexy with a side of warm-and-fuzzy, thank you very much.

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14 year old daughter ready for sex help!!!
hi
my 14 year old daughter has just told me shes ready to have a sexual relationship with her bf whos 16. I have always told her that when shes ready to let me know and we can sort out contraception etc, but now shes told me its freaked me out a bit as i didnt expect it so soon I really dont know how to deal with it as if i say no she will probably do it anyway but without my support, but if i say yes its like saying yeah go ahead its fine
please advise

Legally, if she has sex with her bf, he can be arrested for statutory rape as you DD is under 16.

Personally, if she was my daughter, I would sit her down and explain to her why she is still to young to be having sex. At 14 she is still a child. I know there are girls out there having sex at 14, but if you can prevent it, I would try my damdest. xx
i would much prefere to prevent it, but im not sure of the right way to go about it without making her feel im been controling and unfair as they do at that age when you say no to something, id like to discourage her but also make it her desision not to have sex
14 year old daughter and her boyfriend, advice please
All you can do is explain the reasons why she shouldn't, unwanted pregnacy, STI's, also explain that her bf WILL be arrested if they have sex, as he is over the age of consent, and she is under. its easy forn her tosay no one will find out, but it could happen. She tells a freind or he does, and someone calls the police. And if they are so 'in love', he will wait, if hes not willing to wait then hes not worthy of being her bf, cause she worth more than that. xx
Wow what a great relationship you have got with your daughter, very hard as you have said though to know what to do now, from her point of view she has done exactly what you have asked her to, no mean feat at 14 and is trying to be completly honest with you, i think that is really amazing.

I'm sure you have and will give her all the do's and don't as you sound like you have that kind of relationship.

If you think she is going to sleep with him anyway, i would let her know that you still think she is a bit young but if she is still sure that she wants to do this then help arm her the pill and condoms, if she's going to do it anyway then at least it will be safely, mostly down to yourself being such an open and honest mother.

Really hard one though, you have my sympathy's,it's a hard slog this teenage thing.:)
hi
thanx for that. we do have a great relationship and can talk about anything. I think im going to arm her with all the reasons against it see how she still feels after that and if shes still dead set on it arrange to go to the family planning centre with her and her bf. I will let her know that although im not happy about it im still there for her. really i want to lock her in her bedroom till shes 21 lol I just hope im doing the right thing
I think you are a fantastic mum, your dd is so lucky.
 I became sexually active at 14 with my bf who I had been with for 18 months.
I could not speak to my parents about such a toboo subject.
So bf & I went to doc together.
As you quite rightly said she will probably do it anyway.
My advise is talk as much as possible, keep the door open for her to start a disscusion anytime she wants.
If they do then your job is to make sure they get as few opportunities as poss, such as not been alone in house etc.
Hiya

It's a difficult one really.. and something I haven't yet had to deal with yet so my answer is from a theoretical point of view.

I think you should sit down and explain to her that she is too young and explain why the age of consent is there. I would tell her (perhaps even look at sites on the net) about STD's and pregnancy and explain that even using contraception carefully does not make sex 100% safe. Perhaps even let her read some of the unplanned pregnancy stories on here?

Having said that, I do think if she is going to do it then she is going to do it. I was on the pill from aged 14 for my periods and I think it would be worth her going to the docs and going on it perhaps just incase. Also perhaps you could put some condoms in a box for her and give them to her.

Good luck with everything, you sound like a fab mum xx [smilie=056.gif]
hi
thanx for that. we do have a great relationship and can talk about anything. I think im going to arm her with all the reasons against it see how she still feels after that and if shes still dead set on it arrange to go to the family planning centre with her and her bf. I will let her know that although im not happy about it im still there for her. really i want to lock her in her bedroom till shes 21 lol I just hope im doing the right thing
Well done you for being so open with your daughter, it is rare. I also have a 14 yr old daughter and dread what you are going through! I think you are going about it right and I think as long as she takes "on board" what you say she will make an "adult" decision.
Good luck.
My 14 year old daughter refuses to go to school.
Firstly, I think that the fact that your daughter is willing to discuss this with you is fantastic!
Not many 14 year olds would do that, you must have a great relationship.
I can't give any advice that hasn't already been given, just express your concerns about sex at such a young age (reminding her that it is illegal, as well) but remember if she is intent on doing it, then she probably will. So make sure she knows about the contraception available to her at her age.
Good luck hunni
xx
You must have a very open relationship that's fab.

People are right when they say she is under the legal age of consent. It would only take a teacher at school to find out and they would inform the police which is a whole heap of trouble nobody needs.
Thanx so much for all your help. its given me plenty to discuss with her. I have arranged an evening with her tonight and my husband and son are making themself scarce. will let you know how it goes and thanx to all of you
I think you're going about it completely the right way! Yay you

My DD is nearly 11 and I so hope our relationship is the same as yours when she's 14. We're close now and I try to be honest but we've not reached the teens yet, it could all change and that is scary!
12 yr old daughter has had sex. Help!!!
14 year old son refusing to go to school
how lucky you and your dd are to have such an open and respectful relationship. I think the fact that you have this relationship that your dd feels comfortable to come to you about this is wonderful and shows her to be a fairly mature young woman, rather than just jumping in without any prior thought or planning.

I dread my dd being older, she is only 7 and still seems like my little baby girl but i really hope that when she is older we have as close and open a relationship.

I would say the same as everyone else, make sure she has all the facts, and point out that her bf could be arrested. But then i guess as you say ultimately you want to be supportive. The idea of taking them both down to the family planning clinic is a good idea, make sure they're both safe.

Good luck talking to your dd this evening, and who knows, maybe she will listen to your concerns and decide she wants to wait after all, good luck.
I just hope my daughter is as sensible as yours when the time comes and comes to me first. Your obviously doing great as a Mum.

I have odd religious beliefs that involve chastity before marriage, I have found when talking to the teenagers at church about it, it works not to point out the pregnancy and STDs they know that usually and feel invulnerable. What I find helps is talking about the positives of not having sex too early that usually generates a more useful discussion.

I found that being chaste as a teen gave me a better relationship with boyfriends we needed to find other ways to have fun together, its easier to walk away if you have to or its not working out,,  There are others but would probably sound bonkers to a teenager who wasn't considering chastity, but if you can talk about the aspects that will give her a better relationship with her boyfriend, and her own emotional growth its going to be more positive.

-Charley

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