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Let’s talk about regrets for a minute…. Okay? Good! We all have regrets, some of them small, some of them huge and some of them have no unit of measurement. I have had all manner of regrets: clothing choices, boyfriend choices, alcohol mixing choices, haircuts…. You get my point. This book is one of them! I saw it in a local thrift store for $1 and snatched it up, thinking how can I go wrong? Welp, I can AND I did!! Okay, I’ll let you in on a little secret; I could not care less about author’s spouses, histories or stories. There, I’ve said it, call me a monster if you will…. However, the audacity of Rucker made me have a peruse through Poe’s life history – yes that is Edgar Allan, ladies and gents – just to see how far off the map he was. And I learned stuff, some of it creepy – he did, in fact, marry his 13 year old first cousin Virginia Clemm , some of it unsurprising – he was an alcoholic, temperamental man, and some of it just informative – he worked with an editor named Thomas W. White at the Southern Literary messanger and I have to give Rucker a slow fucking clap….because, shit man, you know how to use “the google”, bravo. However, after a cursory glance you will discover that Rucker didn’t really do his homework. SPOILER ALERT!!!Virgina did not, in fact, die at 14 trapped in a wicker box with Edgar, or as Rucker prefers “Eddie”! I’m fairly confident in saying Edgar also did not kill her with opium products OR carry her teeth, wrenched from her corpse, in his pocket like a serial killer…. I mean, maybe he did but I think it would have been mentioned somewhere along the line. And then the science fiction happens. Dear Rucker, there is a distinct difference between science fiction and fictional science, LEARN IT!!!! Oh the mutha-fucking boredom!!! I just can’t anymore, this is the worst fucking book I’ve read since The Alchemist, and it’s worth noting that this odorous pile of garbage makes The Alchemist look like a work of genius!!
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