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Were it not for an ex-boyfriend back in her native Wellington, Mistress Alex Vicia may have never become a dominatrix.
When they first started dating about 10 years ago, he had a chain suspended across the inside of his apartment; she wasn't sure why.
Dominatrix: Alex Vicia and her submissive.
CREDIT:
MATHEW LYNN
Then he attached a ring to his penis and himself to the chain and asked her to beat him. The first whip broke, but she trotted back to the sex shop across the road and bought another one and flogged him til he begged her to stop. Then she kept going.
"I'd call it an energy exchange, a power exchange – he gave me control of what was going on and I loved it," says Alex. "He was seeing a dominatrix at the time and he said I should look into doing that as a career."
Dominatrix: Alex Vicia.
CREDIT:
KEN PRYOR
That's exactly what she did, moving to Melbourne a few years later where she undertook a two-year traineeship at the Correction Centre (formerly in Fitzroy, recently in Coburg, and currently closed), where BDSM enthusiasts go to indulge their fantasies.
Alex says her training is ongoing. She's constantly attending workshops, developing her skills and expanding her repertoire, which includes "anal training", genital torture and "medical play", with optional catheter insertion.
Her career, in effect, has become her life – she's in a dominant-submissive relationship at home, where her partner is also her slave. Before eating, talking or using the toilet, he must ask Alex for permission. "His aim in life is to please me and make me happy," she says. They have drawn up a contract outlining the "rules" of their relationship, which is revisited every six months to ensure both parties are happy.
"I don't have him in a cage downstairs – we sleep in the same bed," Alex says.
Her slave recently accompanied her on a trip to Japan to train with a master in shibari, the ancient artistic form of rope bondage. He acted as her "rope bottom lackey" – the person she practised tying up.
Not many clients ask for shibari. In the dungeon that she helped design and works out of in a Collingwood brothel, her most requested services involve latex and corporal punishment. The former might see Alex donning a catsuit and skyscraper heels and fitting the client with a latex hood, or perhaps zipping them up in a latex body bag, forms of sensory deprivation that render the client vulnerable and, vitally, submissive.
Corporal punishment could be anything from spanking and flogging with all manner of paddles, whips and canes, to electronic stimulation – or torture – administered via a small but powerful machine with clamps attached to the genitals.
Alex owns five catsuits, priced between $300 and $1000 each. "Luckily I sent my partner to some lessons on fixing and making latex, so he fixes my rips and that saves me a lot of money," she says. Still, it's evident from the array of shiny equipment in her dungeon that Alex spares no expense on her gear. "A good percentage of my earnings rotates back into what I do," she says. "The more I put into it, the more I get out of it." Her clients appreciate it too. "They look at me in my latex and they love it. To them I'm a goddess, and I feel like a goddess because that's the way they look at me."
In the five years that Alex has been practising professionally, three clients have fainted during a session. They are given a "safe word" at the beginning of each session to use if they want her to stop, and she monitors their reactions closely throughout. "Watching their body movements, when their toes start moving and curling, that's when they're really feeling it."
Some mistresses have sex with their clients. Alex doesn't.
"It doesn't work for me. I don't see it as a sexual thing: I don't see intercourse as a dominant thing," she says. Trust, power and control is what she gets off on.
Some clients are into humiliation, such as one who asked Alex to ridicule his small penis. "If people want that, I'll give it to them. The more experienced I get, the less I ask why." According to Alex, some people just "need" sessions. "It's like a therapy to some of them."
Her family know about what she does, and are supportive. Some others aren't. Alex recalls telling an old colleague in New Zealand about what she did for a living and getting laughed at. "It was the most humiliating experience and I just don't choose to go through that again." Now, she's more selective about who she tells. Sometimes she'll say she's a behavioural therapist, or a lifestyle trainer.
Most of her friends here are in the BDSM scene. With them, she says, she doesn't feel judged.
In person, Alex is pleasant but cool, a little guarded. She says she's never really been an affectionate person. She has sex with her slave at home occasionally, but says they'd both much rather visit her dungeon for a session.
"I love it," she says with a glint in her eye. "I absolutely love it."
Annabel Ross is a Reporter for The Age.
Thank you for reading the Herald. This article is complimentary.
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