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【 Pαrт:4 ➛ TARBIYAH OF OUR FAMILES 】
How do we make the tarbiyah of our children?
1. Win their confidence: Firstly we have to win the confidence of our children. This can be obtained by adopting the characteristics mentioned in part one. By winning their confidence, they will take their parents as their role models and take to heart whatever advices are given to them.
2. Narrate to them incidents of the pious: Stories play a vital role in moulding the mind of a child. Whatever a child hears in the form of a story is more impressionable than just mere facts. Daily fix some time to read an incident from the lives of the Ambiyaa (alaihimus salaam), Sahaabah (radhiyallahu ‘anhum), and the Salafus Saaliheen (pious predecessors) before putting them to bed. This is extremely beneficial. Experience bears testimony that this method is very effective for tarbiyah. The greatest benefit of narrating stories to children is that it instils the value of deen into their minds and hearts. After narrating the incident, explain to them the morals or the lessons learnt there from.
3. Ta’leem (Daily kitaab reading): Our pious Ulama Kiraam and elders have mentioned that among the most powerful tools for the tarbiyah of any household is daily ta’leem at home. They have advised the reading of the fadhaail kitaabs (viz. Fadhaail e Aamaal and Fadhaail e Sadaqaat of Shaikhul Hadeeth Moulana Muhammad Zakariyya rahimahullah). This should be fixed as a daily practice. The entire family should be gathered at a suitable time when everyone is free and spend approximately ten minutes in reading the incidents and the ahaadith from these books.
4. Dressing: Be extremely particular about their dressing. From a young age, get them into the habit of dressing according to the sunnah. Children should neither be made to wear clothing that resembles the west nor should they be made to wear clothing resembling that of the opposite gender (e.g. girls wearing jeans and boys wearing earrings). This impacts negatively upon the tarbiyah of our children.
5. Cell Phones and Computers: Be extremely cautious about giving them cell phones and allowing them free usage of the computer. If under extreme circumstances they are forced to use the cell phone or the computer, then this should be allowed only under your strict supervision. These modern day tools are like dangerous weapons which can be detrimental to the child’s Imaan.
6. Salaah: Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) has commanded us to encourage our children to perform salaah from the age of seven. It is thus the duty of the parents to ensure that this greatest form of ‘Ibaadah is instilled deeply in the hearts of our children from a young age.
7. Good Company: The great pious scholars of the past have strongly advised that young children of an understanding age should be introduced to pious, righteous ‘Ulama. Sitting in the company of these ‘Ulama will provide wonderful guidance for them in the most positive way possible. Also encourage them to participate in the tableegh jamaat activities during their free time. This will indeed prevent them from much negative influences which are prevalent in society.
8. Du‘aa: Daily make du‘aa for them. Allah Ta‘ala readily accepts the du‘aa of a parent for his/her child. Many a great scholar of Deen flourished as a result of the du‘aas of his parents. Imaam Bukhaari (rahimahullah)’s eye sight was restored due the excessive du‘aa of his mother.
9. Entrust them to Allah Ta‘ala: Keep in mind that Allah Ta‘ala is the Murabbi Haqeeqi (The True Mentor), and it is only with His help that our children’s tarbiyah can be made. Therefore entrust them totally in the care of Allah Ta‘ala and beseech Him to nurture them correctly.
cσηtίηυєd in sнα Allααн
Author - Uswatul Muslimah
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