Prepare Your Ass

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9 Things You Need to Know Before You Have Anal
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Some super crucial tips for preparing your body before butt stuff.
Butt stuff is an entirely different type of play from oral and vaginal sex for many reasons. Those who love anal sex are often appreciative of its highly intimate nature and the unique sensation of fullness it gives the receiver.
Almost everyone has an anus, and since the anus has a ton of highly sensitive nerve endings, it’s absolutely thrilling to try anal stimulation if you haven’t explored it before. Having said that, butt stuff should be something you choose to do — not something you do to please anyone but yourself, and certainly not something anyone can be pushy or coercive about doing with you.
While it is fun as heck when done right, there’s a whole bunch of misinformation out there about it. Because everyone deserves to have a beautiful bum experience every time, here are seven tips that will help you prepare for and then enjoy yours.
First things first: Figure out your safer-sex approach. Keep in mind that if you're not using a condom, anal sex is a higher-risk sex act, especially for the receiver. The rectum doesn't self-lubricate and its lining is more delicate than that of the vagina or mouth, meaning you’re more likely to tear something during anal than during vaginal or oral sex, and tears can allow viruses or bacteria to enter the bloodstream. HIV and hepatitis are easily spread this way because they're transmitted through blood-to-blood or semen-to-blood contact.
To minimize risk, you can use a latex condom (like this one from Sustain) or polyisoprene condom (which is free of allergens, like the Skyn condom from Lyfestyles) during anal sex with a penis or dildo, unless you can completely sterilize the dildo. You should also utilize dental dams during anal rimming, and nitrile gloves during manual penetration. (Of course, even if you are using a condom, many common STIs, including syphilis and herpes, can still be transmitted by skin-to-skin contact.)
If you're fluid-bonded with your partner — meaning you've chosen to stop using barrier methods, a choice that should be based on the results of comprehensive STI testing — it's still important to avoid transferring bacteria from the rectum to other parts of the body, for example the vagina. Switching from anal to vaginal sex without replacing the condom or thoroughly washing the penis or dildo can lead to a vaginal or urinary tract infection.
Your rectum is not a vaginal canal, nor is it a mouth and throat, so don't expect your anus to work like other orifices. If you’re going to be the giver of anal penetration, don’t fuck an anus like any other orifice. Not only is the rectum a canal that does not self-lubricate as the vaginal canal and mouth do, the entry is also "gated" by two — yes, two — sphincters. This means that you shouldn't dream of having anal sex without a thick water- or silicone-based lube.
It also means you've got to take it easy, at least at first. Pain is the body’s natural way of telling you to slow down or stop what you’re doing. While moments of discomfort may occur when you’re new to all the booty feelings that come with anal, sharper sensations are warning signs that something isn’t happening correctly or that you’re moving too quickly. Some folks combat this by using numbing or relaxing creams, but I urge you to avoid these at all costs. If you can’t feel pain, you won’t know when your body is telling you to stop, and you risk injury to your anal tissues.
Some people with hemorrhoids find anal too painful, but others find it can actually relieve pain (stimulating the butt draws blood to the area, which keeps circulation flowing). Again, it’s your choice whether or not to play with your butt, so if you have hemorrhoids, just do what feels right for your body.
Some people fear that anal sex is going to result in an explosion of poop. These fears are generally overblown, but it's not unusual to encounter bits of poo from time to time. Some people anally douche before doing butt stuff, but many of us don’t and it works just fine. In my opinion, it’s completely unreasonable to put your body through the douching process each time you want to do butt stuff, so unless you really love douching, there’s no need.
You can reduce your chances of encountering poop by choosing to do butt stuff when you know you’re not still digesting food. For the most part, though, you won’t see any poop unless you’re about to have a bowel movement. Feces are stored in the colon, which is where the rectum highway leads. Poop only passes through the rectum as it exits the body; otherwise, it just chills up in the colon.
If you find that longer phalluses that go inside you anally have a bit of poop at the tip when they're pulled out, that’s probably because they've entered the colon. It’s no biggie, but it is something to be aware of, and you definitely want to be more gentle the deeper you go.
Clockwise from top left: Tantus ProTouch $40 (Shop Now)/ LifeStyles Skyn Condoms Lubricated Non-Latex $6 (Shop Now)/ Sliquid Sassy Water-Based Anal Lube $8 to $20 (Shop Now) / Fun Factory Bootie Plug $35 to 45 (Shop Now) / Sustain Ultra Thin Condoms $14 (Shop Now)
By now you know that lube is non-negotiable for butt play. A good sex toy, meanwhile, is an ideal tool for getting accustomed to the sensations of being anally penetrated. Even if you’re looking to achieve penetration with a penis eventually, it’s wise to start out with fingers or an anal-safe toy — and, again, so much lube.
A toy is safe to put in your butt if it has a flared base or another stopping point. That's because the rectum can suck things inside the body like a vacuum (unlike the vaginal canal, which ends with the cervix). The last thing you want is to end up in the ER with a vibrator lost up your ass.
Starting with small toys will help you become familiar with how your rectum feels as things go in and out of it so that you’re prepared for a larger thing, like a strap-on dildo or penis. For a great starter toy, check out Fun Factory's Bootie Plug (in the small size) or Tantus' ProTouch. Note: Keep in mind that you shouldn't use silicone lube with silicone toys since it can degrade the material.
While we can clench and unclench our outer sphincter consciously (try it right now), the inner sphincter cannot relax unless you are super duper chilled-out inside. If you’re the receiving partner, calm your mind, steady your breathing, and try to identify and let go of any tension you’re holding inside of your body. You or your partner should begin by slowly massaging the outer ring of the sphincter and surrounding areas until you feel the anus relax. Don’t jump the gun — you have plenty of time to get to the main event.
Your breath and mind are crucial parts of successful booty play. If you’re anxiously forcing something into your body, you’re just going to clench up more. Take deep belly breaths and let the residual tension go with every exhale. See if you can identify what I call a “tension cord” in your midsection: Some of us notice that this cord releases during the insertion process, and once it does, that's when the fun begins.
If you find yourself repeatedly tensing up, take a break and pick things back up if and when you feel ready to try again. If your partner isn’t attuned to your body's cues, it’s especially important to vocalize what does and doesn’t feel good so they can respond accordingly.
You might think that whatever you’re putting in your butt should enter head-on, perpendicular to the body, but this may actually make insertion more difficult. Approach the sphincter at a 45-degree angle to the body, and if you aren’t using your fingers as the insertable object, use an index finger to put pressure against the tip of the toy or phallus to guide it in at an angle until it “tips” in.
Once you’ve got a centimeter or so in, pay close attention to the way your body feels receiving and the way the sphincter is interacting with the insertable. If the fit feels too tight, ease out. If you feel your butt opening up and accepting what you’ve put against the entryway, slowly continue ease in. You can make subtle in-and-out motions if that feels comfortable, or slightly wiggle side-to-side to massage and relax the anus.
Anal penetration can directly stimulate the prostate if you have a penis. If you have a vagina, anal penetration can indirectly stimulate its sensitive front wall, which some call the G-spot. Both the prostate and this front wall are typically located about two to three inches inside the body on the belly side, so angle the insertable up and toward the belly at a medium-to-shallow depth to stimulate them.
Short strokes are ideal if you’re using a dildo or penis, and “come hither” or side-to-side motions work great if you're using fingers. Be sure to not prod or poke at this area, especially if you’re stimulating the prostate because it can feel incredibly uncomfortable for the receiver.
Even if you’re already familiar with "G-Spot" stimulation, you might find this new method of indirect stimulation even more delicious than stimulation via the vaginal canal (and I know many folks who prefer it, in fact). And remember that just because you're focusing on the booty doesn't mean you should neglect other parts of the body: Stimulating the clit with a hand or toy during anal penetration can make for a delightful combo.
At the end of the day, when it comes to anal sex, do what makes your body feel good. And don’t give up if your first attempt isn't immediately wonderful: This type of play can have a bit of a learning curve, so go at your own pace, communicate with your partner, and enjoy the ride.
Now, watch Rachel Bloom's delightful song about orgasms:
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So you’ve done a little exploring with your fingers, and now you’re ready to take your anal play to the next level. There are a lot of fantastic anal sex toys out there just waiting to take a trip up your butt. Here’s everything you need to know about putting a foreign object in your anus.
You’ve got a butt, but (heh) the odds are that you’re probably ignoring it. Your ass has the…
This is the second in a multi-part series from After Hours about anal play. You can see the other posts in the series as they come out here.
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There’s a whole world of anal sex toys out there. Most of them fall into three categories:
Tribit Bluetooth Speaker/Sound Machine
Here are some other important characteristics to look for in an anal toy:
If you’re brand new to anal sex toys, I recommend a simple, inexpensive plug like this one (also linked to above) or the Little Flirt by Tantus. They’re great for solo use since they can be inserted and left in place, or jiggled around a bit if you’re dextrous. If you want to go classy, these njoy plugs are incredible. If you’re a lady, you may like an njoy wand; it doubles as both an anal and G-spot stimulator, so all is not lost if you don’t end up liking the anal action.
If you haven’t already (link), you should explore your anus with your fingers before you even consider a toy. Get to know the area a bit before you start putting stuff up there!
Any toys that are going into your butt need to be thoroughly cleaned before (and after) penetration. Hot water and soap are usually sufficient, but you can also find antibacterial sprays specially formulated for sex toys, like this one from Wicked. Some toys can also be sterilized by boiling them (or even putting them in the dishwasher); check your toy’s manual for specific instructions (and ya know, maybe don’t toss your dildo in the dishwasher if you have roommates around).
For your first foray into anal sex toy land, think about whether you want to be the one holding the toy, or if you’d like your partner to do it. If you’re nervous, I’d suggest being the one to hold it, since you’ll have more control. A partner has the advantage of being more dexterous, but you’ll have to make sure to communicate with them about what feels good and what doesn’t.
Next, find a position that gives you good leverage. The arm that’s operating the toy will need to stretch further than you usually do when you masturbate. Sitting up in bed with some pillows propped behind you is usually doable. If you’re with a partner, they can sit between your legs. You want to be relaxed and turned on before venturing backdoor. One of the challenges of using anal toys is getting your muscles relaxed enough for penetration,so do whatever tickles your fancy: put some fingers up there, masturbate, get your partner off, watch porn, fantasize, you know the drill.
Make sure you have your trusty lube nearby. If you’re using a silicone toy, you’ll need to use a water-based lube (silicone lubes can break down the silicone in your toy). If you’re using a stainless steel toy, you can go for silicone or water-based lube. This Toy Love lube from Wicked is thick enough for anal action, and perfect for use with silicone toys since it’s water-based.
I firmly believe that lube can be a wonderful addition to any person’s sex life. But picking a lube
Next, whoever is wielding the toy should pick a designated butt-hand. You want to be careful not to get fecal bacteria in your other orifices, so use just one hand to touch your asshole, and keep it off-limits from any other activity. Put a nickel-sized amount of lube on your fingers, and apply the lube to your anus. You can push your fingers in a few inches to get some lube inside and prepare yourself for the toy. Then thoroughly saturate your toy with lube. You want it so lubey that it practically slips out of your hand. Lube is your friend when it comes to anal, and you really can’t use too much. For peace of mind, you can put a towel under your butt to guard your sheets against lube spillage.
Holding your toy in your butt-hand, press the tip of the toy against your anus as you continue masturbating. Just hold it there for a few moments while your body adjusts to the pressure. When you feel ready, gently push the toy in about an inch or less, then hold it there. If this feels painful or like there’s too much resistance, slowly pull the toy out. Hold it against your anus while you keep masturbating. You can also add a little more lube if you feel like the toy is tugging at your skin or not gliding smoothly. If all systems are go, slowly slide the toy further in, an inch at a time, taking breaks to hold it in place and keep masturbating. Once it feels like the toy is fully inserted, try taking your hands off of it. Some toys will stay in place snugly, while others may get pushed around a bit by your sphincters. If it feels like your butt is pushing your toy out, just hold onto it to keep it in place. If your toy has a flat base, you can sit up a bit so the base comes in contact with your bed and keeps the toy inside. You can keep the toy stationary, and enjoy the sensation of fullness it creates. Or try moving it in and out or around in circles.
When your orgasm, your muscles will contract, and will attempt to push the toy out. This is where having a towel beneath you comes in handy! You can let your body do its thing without having to scramble to catch the little plug being shot out of your butthole. The sensation of the toy coming all the way out of your asshole can feel a little bizarre, so just take a deep breath. If it doesn’t come out on its own, ease it out slowly. You may be tempted to pull it out quickly, but doing so feels a little too similar to pooping, so take your time.
If you’re using a toy with a partner, you may notice that the anus stays agape after the toy has been removed. This will be especially noticeable if you used a girthy toy. Don’t worry, your butthole will return to its usual puckered state in just a few minutes. Just pretend it’s saying “WOW!”
Wrap your toy up in your towel or in some Kleenex, and take it to the bathroom to clean and sanitize it. Don’t forget to wash your hands with soap and water, especially before touching other parts of your or your partner’s bodies.
Congratulations, you’ve now leveled-up in your anal adventures!
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