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Ive only read selections of Yves Bonnefoy before I read this book, and I picked it up in the hopes of getting a fuller sense of how I felt about his work.What I didnt count on was Hoyt Rogers putting together such a terrible translation.Some of what Hoyt Rogers does is typical bad translation: his word choices are overly cautions, on the whole, and hes so wed to the simplest semantic meanings that the poetry in English is limp and lifeless.Some of what Hoyt Rogers does is his own brand of bad translation. As an example, lets consider this passage from Summer Rain. The original begins: Mais le plus cher mais non Le moins cruel De tous nos souvenirs, la pluie dГ©tГ© Soudaine, brГЁve.And Rogers translates the passage as: Yet the dearest Of all our memories, But not the least cruel: summer rain Sudden, brief.I have three problems with this translation, all of which are related to those first two lines:1. The word mais is repeated in the first line of the original, giving the line a substantial portion of its music. Instead of choosing between yet or but (mais can mean either, depending on context), Rogers uses both options, destroying the music of a repeated word.2. Rogers weakens the shift from plus cher (literally most dear) to mois cruel (literally least cruel) by ignoring the syntactic parallel--both use an adjective-noun construction. Instead, he chooses to render the first phrase as dearest and the second as least cruel.3. In French, when the first line is read by itself, it is a statment and a negation: But the most dear but no. When the second line is added, the meaning of the first line shifts to being part of a larger statment, a statment that includes a hesitation before continuing: But the most dear but not/ The least cruel.By making these three poor choices, Rogers changes a stanza that speaks to uncertainty and to the production of meaning through language into a fairly direct, mildly interesting statement. In French, Bonnefoy sounds like Robert Creeley in his relationship to language. In Rogers rendering, Bonnefoy is simple and unimaginative.The Translators Note sheds some light on Rogers decisions. In the note, Rogers describes a meeting between him Bonnefoy while Bonnefoy was translating Yeats. Bonnnefoy feared that his translation of Byzantium might have departed too drastically ffrom the semantic content of the text. Rogers that Bonnefoys translation maintained Yeats music while clarifying its convoluted syntax.Indeed, Rogers primary concern seems to be conveying semantic content of the poems in the simplest statements possible. By doing so, Rogers changes Bonnefoys struggle between language and meaning into a series of logical truth-statement about the natural world. A friend of mine described Rogers translations as a bull in a China shop. I cant think of a more accurate description.
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