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Teen Talk: My boyfriend wants to see me nude — just once
Q: I’m 16 and have a boyfriend for the first time. He says he’s seen pictures, but has never seen a “real live” girl or woman nude and it’s driving him crazy. He says that if I let him see me nude one time, he’ll stop bugging me about it. I’ve always been shy about my body. However, I think I could handle the embarrassment one time and let him see me. He says that his brother’s girlfriend lets him see her and so do the girlfriends of many of his friends. I’ve never heard any of my friends say that they allow this. On the other hand, in some ways I’m actually flattered that he wants to see me so bad as I don’t feel that my body’s much to look at. I’m also afraid that I’ll lose him if I don’t give in. My sister says it’s the opposite, that he’ll lose all respect for me and probably dump me if I give into this. What do you think?
A: Do you honestly believe that once he sees you nude, he’ll stop bugging you about it? Instead, he will say things like “I’ve already seen it once so what’s the big deal with showing me again” and then you will feel trapped and pushed into something that should have never even started in the beginning.
Imagine what could come from this impulsive decision. He sees you nude. He brags about it to his friends. His friends tell their friends. Soon the whole school knows, only now the story has changed and not only did he see you nude but you guys also had sex. Regardless of what you say, people will believe the gossip and your reputation will change.
Have a serious talk with your BF. Ask him if he sincerely cares about you. If his answer is yes, then tell him to stop asking to see you nude. End of story. If he really cares about you and your feelings, he will hear what you say and back off. If he continues to try even after you ask him to stop, using tactics such as guilt (I’m the only guy who hasn’t seen his girlfriend nude), flattery (You’re just so beautiful I have to see your body) or anger (If you don’t I will break up with you), then break up with him.
Kelly Richardson is a licensed therapist in Folsom who specializes in working with teenagers. Send questions to krichardson@sacbee.com.
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