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Forum rules
You are entering a forum that contains discussions of abuse, some of which are explicit in nature. The topics discussed may be triggering to some people. Please be aware of this before entering this forum. If you are posting about actions of yours which you feel are/were abusive please post about this in The Remorse Forum. If you have been falsely accused of abusing someone please post in the For Those Falsely Accused of Abusing thread.
Please also note that discussions about Incest in this forum are only in relation to abuse. Discussions about Incest in a non-abusive context are not allowed at PsychForums.
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by Rebelrage » Mon May 09, 2005 4:11 pm
Alittle back ground. I am a mother with three children one boy and two girls (the girls are way younger than my son) who was molested as a teenager by my mother's boyfriend ( this info needed for insight on how I feel the way I do ). I have recently found out that my son had tried ( or so he said ) to get my youngest daughter to perform oral sex on him. My daughter has told me that she actually did put "it" in her mouth. I took all of the necessary steps I called the police, social services, and my daughter was interviewed by a therapist ( I don't know what was said by her the interview was closed to me just the deputy sheriff and the therapist at this point know what exactly happened and it was not taped either). My son at first denied it but when he was interviewed by the sheriff (which took alot of persuation by me for them to do this) he finally admitted to just asking her saying that she said no at the last minute and it was left at that. He told the sheriff that he heard some kids on the bus talking about it and he wanted to know what it felt like to have that done. (By the way from the info I got they were in his room playing video games when my oldest daughter had started messing with his stuff and he kicked her out leaving my youngest and him in his room) Well everyone wanted to leave it alone social services wouldn't investagate because they said since he wasn't a care giver that it wasn't their problem, the sheriff and DA didn't even want to question him though they were the ones to escort myself and my daughter to get her interviewed. They said that it was probably an isolated incident and he probably wouldn't do it again. This didn't sit well with me so I told the DA the other problems we were having with my son (anger issues (stabbing his new bedroom suite with a knife is the worst of it), total rebellion against authority school and home, and just the overall attitude of you can't make me do anything ( and I really at this point feel that we can't), stealing and lying daily ). So I asked the DA if we had to wait for him to kill us in our sleep for anyone to help us, because if he gets away with this too then what will he be capable of and I really believed that. This is what got the interview with the with him and the Sheriff. Well now it is in court and we are just at the beginning of the preseeding (sp?). The judge was saying the same thing as we were Why has no one removed this child from the household? So he is now having social services investagate US! I am so scared that he will have all my children removed from my house because of this fiquring I should have never allowed them to be alone in the same room together. It didn't cross my mind that this would happen they are brother and sister! And I also am having problems with my feelings toward my son. I love him but I hate him for what he did and no that is not a mistake on words I hate what he did but I truly hate him too! I feel quilty for that but I can't help myself my daughter isn't old enough to understand what he was asking her (or had her) to do so she isn't affected right now but she is old enough to remember what happened when she does one day understand and being molested myself I know what road lies ahead for her. I can't believe this is happening and I don't know how to feel. Now in the courtroom they had us sit with him on his side of the court room even though she was the victim like we are supporting him! I know I have to because he has to have a parent since he is a minor but my daughter and husband too! In order to feel safe and not have to sleep in between their rooms at nite we have resorted to locking him in his room which I also hate because even though he has been instructed that in the case of a fire break out a window and climb out I know it's not safe for him. But what else can we do? Social Services has been ordered by the court to investagate but that has been two weeks ago and we have heard nothing and they won't remove him. They have left us no choice. No I have no family capable of taking him in and scared of that too cause of the supervision he needs around other children now. I don't let my kids out of my sight when they are together and I feel like I am going mad. I had recently been told by a doctor I suffer from anxiety and just started today my medicine he gave me but I don't know how to handle this I cry and shake to the point I can't stop! I feel like I am losing my mind and going mad. I also feel like an uncaring mother toward my son and just moments away from writing him off completely! He has shown no change in attitude and it seems to me he is hoping that they send him to a boys home in order to leave my house. He has told us he wants to live somewhere else many times. My husband and I fight all the time because he thinks I should stand by him but at the same time he acts like he hates my son and scolds me when I express the same reaction (my son doesn't belong to my husband). What do I do I am so confused how to deal with this. Please help me I feel so alone with this! Sorry for the long entry.
by katfish67 » Wed May 11, 2005 3:42 pm
I think no one has posted on this because it is such a touchy subject, kinda not knowing what to say. i can kinda see the anger you have for your son ( how old is he?) but hate! yes he did something bad and it sounds to me like he is going thru some rebelion stage and sexual experamenting. i understand your concern for your daughter , but your son needs help to. did you think maybe he is so bad because he knows his mom don't love him with all her heart , that would kill anyone. you are stricking him out without giving him a chance to become a better person, he does not need to be place in a home where he can become worse. right now he needs the love and support of his mom and dad, and the feeling that he is not a bad person because of what someone did to him. the only way i can see you feeling the way you do is if your son is like 16 or so and knew what he was doing was wrong. then i would take him and get him help , but you should be there for him too. the way it sounded is he was on the bus and heard them talking sounds like grade school kids. the bad thing in this world is that everyone we meet and the things that happend to us either makes us who we are or takes away from who we were, and in your sons case the man that did this to him took away from him the child he was to become and you can't condim him for that ...he like your daughter was a innocent child. get him some help to...don't push him away!!
by Rebelrage » Thu May 12, 2005 6:04 am
He wasn't molested I was as a teenager and I wanted to express that because I have got some harsh feelings toward him, I think because of my being molested and knowing what road lies ahead for my daughter. Also I want to say that I have NEVER told my son I hate him and still tell him I love him. I understand he needs help and am requesting that the court also order it (because we can't afford the kind of help he needs) no regular therapists will touch this because they say he needs specialized help. I also believe he doesn't need to go unpunshished for this either, he can't be allowed to get away with this too, he has gotten away with so much stuff because the law wouldn't help me in more minor issues. He has not been held accountable for any of his past actions and I believe that if he was this might not have happened. I am trying to get him help and be supportive despite my negative feelings, but at the same time I guess that I may also indirectly show him some of them. That is what is driving me crazy. The double feelings of love and hate, wanting to support yet write him off. I don't want to give ages, but I will say he should be in early years of high school. He definitely knew better. Thank you so much for responding when no one else seemed to want to. I think I may need to get some counseling myself to deal with my negative feelings and I will try to show him more of the loving feelings I have for him. Thanks again.
by guest » Sun May 15, 2005 11:25 pm
You've already seen that the state is not interested in providing the help that you or your son or your family needs. Before this is over with you will probably see just how screwed up some situations can be.
You seem to have lots of anger toward your son. And this anger seems like it was there even before this molestation and that you are just using this as an attempt to get the state to control your son because you can't. None of us are there and so we can't really understand what your reasons are for feeling this way.
I strongly suggest that you get counseling for yourself. Many molestation victims go through life cutting a broad path of destruction on the others around them. Let's just hope that your son and the rest of your family are not some of those victims.
by katfish67 » Wed May 18, 2005 12:45 pm
A few years back i was taking can of my greandma who had skitafrenia/paranoa and it was ok at first till she started getting worse then i could not and did not have the means to take care of her like she needed, they wanted me to pay for her treatment and i had 3 kids i had to take care of and think about. to make a long story short i had to make her a ward of the state , that means u sign him over to the stated to take care of him. sometimes for some people it is the only way. just something for u to think about as a last resort. you can contact dss to find out more.
by Guest » Mon Sep 12, 2005 7:00 am
I don't see this as a police issue. This is a family therapy issue. I bet dollars to doughnuts your son is suffering from a dignosable mental illness, probable Depressive Mood Disorder. (Look it up on the Diagnostic Statistical Manual IV-Text Revised (DSM IV-TR.)
He should be see by a competant child psychologist, not a cop. The lying, the stealing, the trouble at school all point to depression. If he acts out in the classroom, it might be ADHD, as well, or Bipolar Disorder, or a combination of several of them all at the same time. This is called Co-morbid conditions, and is very common in children (it's like having chickenpox and mumps at the same time.) If need be, he might need to be hospitalized for a while, but he's not likely to see the inside of a hospital for more than a week or ten days---it's too expensive, even with insurance. The other problem is finding a psych hospital with a children's unit. They aren't too common. DO NOT let anybody put him on a unit with teenagers and children mixed together. If you do, he might get worse.
You need to SEE the inside of the unit before he is admitted, if they decide to admit him. Is it safe, clean, well-controlled, etc? If they won't let you tour the unit first, refuse to admit him. Unless he is under Court ordered treatment (with a Mental Health Warrant) they cannot force him to be treated or you to get him treated. But they could remove the girls from your home, which would be a very bad deal. Kids removed from their home go to a foster home or a holding facility, and you have absolutely no guarantee what kind of conditions might be there, or who the foster parents might be. I know several people who were sexually molested IN FOSTER HOMES while they were supposed to be getting protected from an abusive parent, sibling, etc.
My best guess is that he is depressed, and needs both individual therapy, family therapy, and maybe an SSRI anti-depressant. Ball park guess: Zoloft. It also sounds to me like you might be depressed too, which might explain why he is depressed (depression is often genetic.) Keep posting, let me know how things are going---I care. Don't lose hope, miracles are possible with modern psych medications. Oh, and BTW, if Zoloft works for your son, it probably will work for you, too.
by becky » Tue Sep 13, 2005 8:02 pm
I am SO sorry I reach out to you with hugs and support. You are NOT a bad mother. I have also been molested and if anyone did this to my daughter, I would want to just kill them, I would be filled with so much rage and guilt that I somehow allowed this to happen to her. I can understand how you feel.
I HIGHLY recommend therapy for you, your daughters, your husband, and your son individually and as a family. I might suggest taking a trip with just your son and just talk to him, mom to son. "You know son, for a long time it was just you and me. Now we have a new family with even more people who love you. We are all concerned and want to let you know just how much we love you. I am sorry for whatever you have gone through and I understand how hard it is to talk about, so whenever you are ready to, I am here for you. It is not your fault and I will not think for one minute it is." Tell him what happened to you and how it has affected you long ter
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