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Please put on your f*cking headphones.
Few words in the English language are as satisfying as a good fuck. Go ahead—say it right now. Sound your barbaric fuck over the rooftops of the world. Feels good, doesn't it?
Though Hollywood has had a long and complicated history with swearing in general, it's widely believed that 1970's M*A*S*H was the first major picture to use "Fuck." Since then, Hollywood has gone fucking nuts with it.
Below, please enjoy the best f-bombs in cinema history. (You might want to put in some headphones, just in case there are some fucking kids around.)
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The Fucking Context: An action-movie montage, set to a jingoistic song that Toby Keith could have written.
What Makes It So Fucking Great: Anytime our country does something dumb, this song plays in my head. This song has been playing in my head nonstop for about 18 months.
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The Fucking Context: Robert De Niro is understandably upset that his wife has had sex with Joe Pesci.
What Makes It So Fucking Great: It's always nice to revisit a pre-give-up De Niro.
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The Fucking Context: David Hyde Pierce's astrophysics professor realizes an error in his calculations.
What Makes It So Fucking Great: It's just so fucking specific.
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The Fucking Context: Fancy British king overcomes severe stutter through the medium of f-bombs.
What Makes It So Fucking Great: It is satisfying to watch prissy people swear.
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The Fucking Context: Gyllenhaal family dinner gets real.
What Makes It So Fucking Great: Like the movie itself, it makes no fucking sense.
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The Fucking Context: Bruce Willis gets catchphrase, runs with it.
What Makes It So Fucking Great: It might not be all that great. Bruce Willis might have just worn us the fuck down.
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The Fucking Context: We meet the usual suspects, they yell at us.
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What Makes It So Fucking Great: The sheer variety of fucks. Morose, gleeful, bemused, thoughtful, morose. Fuck really spreads its wings here.
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The Fucking Context: Cartman has learned the f-word, and he is eager to share his findings.
What Makes It So Fucking Great: It harkens back to the delicious, forbidden f-bombs of early childhood.
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The Fucking Context: Paul Rudd's zen surfing instructor shares his philosophy.
What Makes It So Fucking Great: It's the truest thing we've ever heard.
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The Fucking Context: Booger from Revenge of the Nerds spits hot truth.
What Makes It So Fucking Great: It's true. Why the fuck do you think we're doing this?
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The Fucking Context: The makers of a fake movie share an inside joke.
What Makes It So Fucking Great: "Oh! Because it sounds like ah, go fuck yourself!" – [Me]
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The Fucking Context: The Roman Senate reveals its true purpose.
What Makes It So Fucking Great: It has never not been super fucking relevant.
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The Fucking Context: The Mafia's guiding principle, laid bare.
What Makes It So Fucking Great: It was very nearly the thing Donald Trump had embroidered on his campaign hats.
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The Fucking Context: The whole movie is one nonstop f-bomb
What Makes It So Fucking Great: It's all the fun of cocaine—without the expense, strained personal relationships, and heart trauma.
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The Fucking Context: Dennis Hopper wants some.
What Makes It So Fucking Great: Who among us hasn't longed, just once, to shout this out loud?
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The Fucking Context: Steve Carell gets his chest waxed, the world is made to feel his pain.
What Makes It So Fucking Great: People so rarely suffer for their art these days.
Dave Holmes Editor-at-Large Dave Holmes is Esquire's L.A.-based editor-at-large.
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