How to write the perfect best man speech

Imagine how good it will feel when your wedding speech goes amazing... when everyone is laughing at your jokes... when you experience a rush that only world famous comedians do when they're getting an arena full of people laughing hysterically at their material... when you're relieved because your speech is now done and you won't have to worry about it anymore... when people come up to you after it and congratulate you on a job well done... when the bride and groom tell you your speech was the highlight of the wedding and that they will never forget it...