Hairy Teen Boys

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It was a rainy day in London and I decided to kill time at the National Portrait Gallery. It was the weekend; there were more visitors than paintings. What was meant to be a contemplative trip had quickly become me trying to find an exit. But on my way out, I ran into a tiny painting I had never noticed before: Girl in Bed by Lucian Freud. It stuck with me the whole day, and I felt tipsy by its beauty. I later found out it was a portrait of Freud’s muse, lover and wife Caroline Blackwood.
Taking this as inspiration, I shot a series of twelve boys in bed. But not just any boys – long haired ones. From Kurt Cobain to The Hansons, these were the 90’s heartthrobs that filled so many teenage dreams, including mine. The guys that made girls blush whilst their dads rolled their eyes. They were muses to a generation when being socially inept and angst-filled was as hip as it could ever be.
There’s something about a boy growing his hair that, like lying in bed, is subversive for its inaction. Just let it grow, just let it be… To lie horizontally and somewhat defy that ancestral desire to stand up that totally changed the fate of mankind. All animals lie down, only humans stand tall.
Especially in today’s hypermetabolic media environment of constantly refreshing timelines and statuses, it seems ever more subversive to just lie down and think (or not). That moment of nothingness when you’re waking up and you’re yet to be anything other than yourself. No strings attached. Just you and your dishevelled hair.
May these 12 boys, lying in this fictional bed with their hair down, be all that and much more, both pungent and fragile, like the Girl in Lucian Freud’s bed.
Words and photography by Barbara Anastacio
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10 Things Moms of Teen Boys Must Know
October 20, 2015 Updated September 28, 2020
Ever wonder what it will be like when your little boys hit puberty? Think the teen years will be exciting, challenging, and fulfilling? Want someone who has “been there, done that” to tell you how it really is?
Well holy AXE spray, zit cream, and hairy legs, I. AM. THERE. I am treading water in the teen angst cesspool (also knows as their bedroom) and desperately gasping for sanity in male-adolescent-hormone-infested waters. Waters that run deep, wide, smart-mouthed, and scruffy-chinned. Where dirty boxer shorts, crumpled up and forgotten homework assignments, lost ear buds, sweaty socks, and junk food wrappers are forever afloat. These waters do not come with a lifeboat. (Honestly, I don’t need a lifeboat, I need a pressure washer and a bullhorn, but we will get to that in a sec.)
Don’t get me wrong: my teenagers are great kids. They do well in school, are witty, empathetic, amusing, and are actually growing into really cool adults. But there are minutes, days, sometimes weeks where I — in teen terms — like, TOTES. CAN’T. EVEN. wrap my mind around their behavior.
1. Everything will smell. Their car. Their closet. Their bathroom. Their bedroom. The hallway that leads to their room. It will be a funky, sweaty, noxious, musty, foul, deodorant soap-covering-perspiration, “I am no longer a little boy” type of odor. No candle, plug-in, floral spray or wax melt comes close to touching it. So stop trying. When they move out, painting the room and replacing the carpet MAY help. I say MAY.
2. They will suddenly want to wash their own sheets. They will bounce down the stairs with all of their bedding wrapped up in a tiny ball, duck into the laundry room, and out of nowhere suddenly want to start the washing machine with no help. Don’t ask. Don’t help. Don’t acknowledge. Move on, mom. This doesn’t involve you. Just a boy and his dreams.
3. There is no frustration greater than teaching a teenager how to drive. I’m almost done teaching my second son how to drive. I’ve got chewed-up cuticles, severe hair loss, and a scrip for reducing heart palpitations to prove it. No matter how cautious, careful, and smart of a driver they appear to be, and even with mom riding shotgun, dents will happen. So will things like, “Does yellow happen before or after green?” and, “Is 65 the fastest I can go?” Shoot. Me. Now.
4. When not sleeping, they are eating. Ever wake up at 3 a.m. to what sounds like raccoons in your kitchen digging through the garbage for food? Folks at Costco finally give you a parking spot up front? Then you get it. I live in “Never Enough Burritos” land. Someone please invent a pepperoni pizza patch that I can slap on their arms and that will offer 24-hour continuous nourishment.
5. When not eating, they are sleeping. When I had a house full of babies that woke everyday before sunrise, never, ever, EVER did I think that I would ever sleep in again. But teens? They SLEEP THE HELL IN!! Like until NOON. Comatose almost. Not gonna lie, it’s freakin’ awesome. Awesome until they have to wake up at dawn, like, say, for school. Then you are totally screwed. Invest in a bullhorn and pray for Saturdays.
6. They will take risks. Big ones. Mind-numbing ones. Risks that your shy, overly cautious, hesitant little boy would never take. (Personally, I think the part of the brain that kept him wary and watchful is now controlled by images of boobies and butts, but who knows.) Basically, boy brains are fearless, reckless, and have zero sense of consequences. If you’ve ever uttered the words, “Not my kid,” take it back. Take it back right effing NOW. Trust me.
7. They think they know everything. Yes, that cliché is true, and they will actually say this to your face. I literally recorded mine saying it to me. Even he laughed. This brazen way of thinking must somehow be a survival mechanism. Perhaps if they had an authentic grasp of adulthood and what real life will throw at them someday, they wouldn’t even want to reach 18. Let’s just allow them to keep thinking they know everything. Why ruin the party?
8. They will not want to hug much anymore. Like ever. But keep trying. You will become the physical form of kryptonite, and when they see you with your arms outstretched, they may run away in horror. Keep trying anyway. Because out of the blue one day, they will toss their arm around your shoulder and give a squeeze, a grin, and say “I love you mom.” (It may only occur when your trunk is full of groceries but hey, take what you can get.) They may seem aloof and un-wanting of your affection, but don’t believe it. They want it. Hug when and if you can.
9. Showers. All day. Every day. Go ahead and buy the low-flow shower head on their 13th birthday, as it will save you about $500 a year. Kids you previously had to beg, bribe, and literally chase down and throw into the shower now spend a quarter of their entire day in there. And yet, still #1. Washing diligently? Probably not, but don’t be that mom who knocks and cracks an embarrassing joke. Just don’t.
10. You thought your newborn grew overnight? You won’t believe these spurts. The mere fact that these boys I now have to crane my neck and look UP to used to fit in the football hold under my arm is mind-boggling. But it happens. And it does so at warp speed. They will go to bed one night with the voice of a Vienna Choir boy and walk out the next morning Pavarotti. Pants that one day you have to roll up will be capris the next. We have skipped three whole shoe sizes at one time. Must have something to do with #4. In the blink of an eye you will go from holding the soft padded hands of a little boy to holding a hand that feels like your husband’s. And the one thing you really need to know? Watching your boys turn into men is pretty darn cool.
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We’ve Found The Perfect Bundle Of Baby Essentials To Gift Any Expecting Parent
Every parent knows that in the early days, just about all babies do is eat and sleep. Okay, there’s also a fair amount of crying, pooping, and spit-up, but we’re trying to focus on the cute stuff here, okay? And while it’s the sweetest thing on the planet to watch your baby’s little mouth move as they hungrily gulp down their dinner (and the tiny infant grunting sounds — we can’t even), it’s still incredible how exhausting it can be to keep a baby happily fed. We worry about getting the flow just right, causing nipple confusion, and reducing air bubbles that can cause tummy troubles. Many new parents go through several bottles before finally finding one that’s just right.
So when you find something that makes feeding time easier, you grab onto it like it’s a life raft and share it with every single one of your new-mom friends. Nanobébé’s Complete Feeding Set really is like a life raft for new parents. It has everything you need to feed your baby, whether you’re bottle-feeding with formula or breast milk. It’s the only set we’ve found that has two different award-winning bottles to fit any feed, literally covering you from the newborn phase all the way to toddlerhood. But more than that, Nanobébé’s bottles, nipples, and pacifiers are the perfect blend of style and convenience. If you’re looking for the perfect gift for expecting parents (or yourself), read on.
Because the Nanobébé Complete Feeding Set has two different types of bottles, you can choose what works best for your baby in the moment. The Breastmilk bottles look different from a traditional baby bottle — they’re shaped like a breast, making the transition between breast and bottle more instinctual for babies and reducing nipple confusion. Babies love reaching up their tiny dimpled hands to grip the sides of this bottle during a feeding so that you can add more adorable baby pics to the 5,000 you already have on your phone. 
These breast-like bottles are perfect for moms who want to breastfeed but also want to share feeding duty with a partner. It’s only fair for Mom to get to roll over and go back to sleep for some of those nighttime feedings, right? The unique shape, combined with the matching geometry of the included warmer, makes for quick and even warming so you can get baby fed and back to sleep in less time, and they’re the first bottle designed to protect breast milk nutrients. Why didn’t anyone think of this before? 
The Flexy Silicone bottles that come with the set are equally awesome. Don’t let their mesmerizing squishiness fool you — they may be soft and flexy, but they’re also sturdy and built to last. 
Another part that stands out are the nipples. (Sometimes the jokes write themselves!) The set comes with four slow flow silicone nipples that fit both the Breastmilk and Flexy Silicone bottles. The nipples have a special triple-vented system that reduces fussiness, gas, and tears. Plus, using one of the two breast pump adapters that come with the set, Mom can easily express milk directly into either style of bottle. That means pump, store, warm and feed, all in the same bottle. 10/10, would recommend.
We love a paci that can soothe our baby without causing nipple confusion. The Nanobébé Complete Feeding Set comes with two super soft Flexy pacifiers designed to do exactly that. with one-piece silicone construction that adheres to American Academy of Pediatrics guidelines, there’s no hard plastic, and they won’t leave red marks. We’ve met more than one mom who says these are the only pacifiers their baby will take. And, as many of us learned the hard way, it always pays to have more than one. Some long, sleepless night that would have otherwise been spent pawing around under your baby’s crib in the dark while your baby cries, that spare paci really will feel like a life saver.
Listen, in those early days with a new baby when you’ve lost the concept of time and haven’t washed your hair in a week, thoughtful design makes a real difference. The folks at Nanobébé clearly know that, because this feeding system works seamlessly, even when you’re running on four hours of broken sleep and watching the battery indicator on your brain slip into low-power mode. The bottles, nipples, pacifiers, warmer, and brush — they all work together to make feedings the easiest part of those early, sleep-deprived days.
The warming bowl requires no electricity — all you need is warm water and you’re set. That means it’s perfect for feedings at home or when you’re on the go. You’ll never worry about the bottle getting too hot. Ease of cleanup is also on point. The bottles are designed for super easy cleaning — the set even comes with its own bottle brush — so you don’t have to obsess over tiny nooks and crannies. The Breastmilk bottle’s design makes them easy to stack and store. (If you’ve ever wrestled a pile of baby bottles while holding a crying baby, you know what a game changer this is!)
All the elements of this innovative, thoughtfully designed gift set add up to one thing: letting parents focus on the best parts of parenting. Whenever you can give new parents one less hassle to worry about, what you’re really giving them is the gift of more time with their new baby. Whether they’re bottle feeding with breastmilk or formula, the Nanobébé Complete Feeding Set simplifies the logistics of feeding time so new parents can focus on the fun part — the awesome connection that happens when feeding their sweet newborn. 
With unmatched convenience and modern style, the Nanobébé Complete Feeding Set provides new parents with everything needed for successful feeds from the newborn stage through early toddlerhood.
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Hairy Teen Boys