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If you are a pagan looking to plan a handfasting, run, dont walk, as far as you can away from this book. As soon as I got into reading it, I realized that it was very problematic and by the end, I was glad I had gotten my copy from the public library so I didnt spend any money on this crap. The problem is that Hovey approaches handfasting from an extremely limited perspective that is highly structured and leaves little room for individual practices, thoughts, and opinions. Everything in this book is planned out for you - for example The best man will start in the North and travel clockwise , sprinkling water and salt mixture on the perimeter of the circle (p 196). That one sentence exemplifies everything that is wrong with this book. Instead of giving suggestions, it gives orders. What if you dont have a best man? Or what if you dont want to call quarters? Or what if you dont want to use salt? Well you are just SOL.This isnt a book to help you plan a ceremony, this is a book that wants to dictate to you exactly what your ceremony should be. Another example comes from a section on picking Gods and Goddesses for your ceremony, where she states It is disrespectful to cross pantheons. Not some people believe or you might want to consider but a strict order, as though Dr. Kendra has come down from on high to tell us all what we can and cant do with our handfasting. I call bullshit on the whole thing. Some pagan traditions cross pantheons all the time with no problem, and it is simply rude of the author to expect that her personal opinions are the only way it should be done AND to try to use manipulative language to guilt people to have the wedding she wants. And that is what the whole book is about, orders not options. Guilt not love. The whole tone of the book is stern, and selfish in my opinion. Also, this book is hella straight, so if you are planning a same-sex handfasting, then there is nothing here for you. Likewise, this is a book that good for practitioners of highly structured Wiccan traditions NOT those who practice other neo-pagan or eclectic traditions. Interracial or intercultural marriage is also absent here. Youre just supposed to plug the names of Norse or Aztec gods into her rituals, instead of creating rituals that actually mean something to your faith.Maybe if you are a straight white traditional Wiccan looking for an authority figure to order and shame you into doing your wedding, you will love this book. I did not. I did however adore Handfasting & Wedding Rituals: Welcoming Heras Blessing because it was everything that this book was not and I recommend that wholeheartedly with 5 stars. This book got 1/2 a star.
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