Girls See Dick

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Katy HorwoodSunday 2 Aug 2015 12:17 pm
Not only are they great fun and the thing that ensures the survival of the human race but they can also act as a constant source of fascination for anyone who doesn’t have one.
Size, girth, shape, direction and colour – there really is no end to the variety willies can provide.
So if you’ve ever wondered what’s going on in our heads when you strip off, it’s time to find out.
Here’s 17 things women think when they first see your penis.
Man, that’s tiny… thank heaven’s it’s small.
Contrary to popular belief not all women prefer a saveloy to a chipolota.
So while we’ll all subconsciously register the size of your dick, you can’t predict what the reaction to your penis will be.
Think you can tell what a man’s dick will look like by his height, shoe size or palm width?
Think again. Body type doesn’t always correlate with willy size.
Which can mean pleasant surprises all round.
Just as size can vary from man to man so, too, can girth – *massively*.
Long and thin or thick and chunky, there really is something for everyone.
4. So *that’s* why they call it a grower
One of the most surprising thing about willies – their ability to transform in size so dramatically.
Yeah, yeah, we get it – it’s the blood flowing to your willy which makes it hard.
Regardless of its size, your willy will often entertain us with it’s ability to look so like things other than a penis.
Gonzo’s nose, a Smurf house, mushrooms, aubergines.
Cultural tradition, religious beliefs, hygiene reasons?
Sex? Hell no, you’re circumcised, we want to put a brew on and get the back story.
Your penis can move on its own when it’s hard… who’d have known!
9. It can get hard when you’re asleep
Or are huge, tiny or totally different sizes. There is *so* much more to willies than willies.
Your willy is regulated by your autonomic nervous system which regulates heart rate and blood pressure – so, just like you get hot at the gym, when your penis knows it’s in-line for a work out the same thing happens.
They don’t call it hot and horny for nothing.
13. It get’s *so* small when it’s cold
Are out of control (we’d rather wait until we get to the bathroom to floss, thank you) or hairless.
Because you shaved your pubes two days ago and now it’s stubbly.
Which is categorically not conducive to fun sex or long-lasting blow jobs.
If you liked this story you should give our new sex podcast Good Sex Bad Sex a listen – it’s out every Wednesday.
The show is available now on iTunes here and on Soundcloud here.
Metro bloggers Miranda Kane and Bibi Lynch co-host the show, chatting to a different guest about all things sex and relationships each week.
Think good cop bad cop – but with more handcuff action.
Visit Metro's Rush Hour Crush online every weekday at 4:30pm.
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Let’s hope it’s a grower (Picture: Nico Tondini)
I’d be smiling too (Picture: Getty)
That reminds me of something (Picture: duron123)

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