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Book description
Good conversation is at the heart of networking, meetings, interviews, negotiations and raising your profile.It can ease your way in work, enabling you to build alliances, create strong relationships with staff, bosses and clients, succeed at interviews, motivate and inspire.But conversation is something most of us were never taught! We learn to speak as babies, but how conversation actually works is something most of us pick up only haphazardly, and many have yet to learn. Why is it some of us are stuck for words, but others blabber or cant stop? What is it that some people have naturally which enables them to converse comfortably and easily, to engage people and build better relationships?The Art of Conversation will show you step by step how to converse skillfully and enjoyably with other people, at home, at work, on the phone and in the street- even if youre daunted now, discover the difference good conversation can make in every aspect of your life. Learn to:-Overcome the most common block to good conversation- fear; find out how to break the silence and keep the conversation going- Understand the different types of conversation and how they work- which topics and language are suitable for the occasion- Learn simple methods for being heard and understood, including speaking clearly and audibly, listening well and using non-verbal communication- Find out how to hold a conversation in tricky situations, including how to disagree, how to speak to those in authority and people you find difficult-Use conversation to form relationships, improve friendships, make the sale, chat people up, to learn, influence and persuade.TABLE OF CONTENTSINTRO 1. INTRODUCING CONVERSATION1. Normal and everyday2. The key to many doors3. What this book is and isnt1. THE DANCE OF CONVERSATION1. The dance of conversation2. A subtle human art3. The traditional conversationalist4. Whats conversation for?2. CONNECTING IS WHAT MATTERS MOST1. Conversational DrainsEnthuso-boreRobo-choreEcho-boreThe Ego-boreQueen of GossipMoaning Micky and Minnie2. Finding common groundFavourite objects of attention3. Non-verbal connectionBody languageVoice tone4. Energetic connection5. FlexibilityDealing with drains3. GETTING IN THE RIGHT STATE1. Looking at lack of ease2. Managing your state3. Breathe4. Move5. Collecting positive states6. Staying present and aware7. Focusing outside yourself8. Dealing with silence9. Curiosity10. Trusting yourself and others4. GETTING A CONVERSATION GOING - THE BASICS1. Breaking the silence2. Make a comment3. Float in a simple question4. Try a comment followed by a question5. Introduce yourself positively6. Keeping the Conversation Going7. Adding a little extra8. Taking it gently9. Open questions10. Stories11. Dropping conversational clues - and picking them up5. LISTENING1. How well do you listen1. What can happen instead of listening2. Rehearsing your own piece3. Daydreaming4. Pretending to listen5. Non-listening6. Filtering the communication7. Judgement8. Playing the psychiatrist9. Reassuring or diverting2. How to listen well3. Show that youre listening4. Freeing yourself to listen5. Deep listening PART 2: THE POWER OF CONVERSATION6. INFLUENCING A CONVERSATION1. Know your intention2. Leading through connection3. Creating movement4. Influence can be as gentle as a story7. DIFFERENT KINDS OF CONVERSATION1. Thing Talk2. Action talkThe art of small talk3. Head TalkExchange of ideasExchange of opinionsWit4. Heart TalkEmotional supportIntimate conversationRisk taking5. Transparent/Inward/Intimate TalkPresence in Aikido6. Generative Talk/Soul Talk7. Progressing through talk-types8. EXPRESSING YOURSELF1. Expressing you - voiceBe understood Speak with flow Getting rid of useless fillers Expressing interest and sounding interesting2. Expressing you - body language3. Expressing you - your emotionsInfluencing with your emotions4. Expressing the real you5. Dancing with languageFinding a common language Playtime with language Negative language Language Habits Big effect of small words Language of Influence? PART 3: CONVERSATION IN PRACTICE9. SAILING THROUGH TRICKY WATERS1. What to do if youre stuckStop faking it Slowing down Be careful what you ask Know which rules youre playing Being flexibile2. Oiling the wheelsComment on what youve already heard Offer a prompt Encouraging nods and grunts3. Spotting the Games People PlayThe status game The manipulation game Role playing Naming the game4. Enjoying disagreement5. ConfrontationsHandling feelings with skill Checking your assumptions Assertive method/Taking the initiative/What to say10. CONVERSATIONS IN A PROFESSIONAL CONTEXT1. Conversations in the workplaceRole playing Small talk at work Negative small talk Meetings, Jousts and Debates Facilitating Group Conversations skilfully/Meaningful conversationsConversational style - Coaching style rather than control/command2. NetworkingBeing the best of you - as written at beg. Of chapter. - Clear/honest Giving and taking Probing questions Abundance Error! Bookmark notdefined.Avoiding the networking nerd - and avoiding being one! Seizing the day Moving on3. Job InterviewsCreating a conversation Busting the men/women myths4. Conversations in the mediaStage-crafted conversations /Most media interviews pre-plannedDesire for black/white Confrontations Media chat If you want something fresh and new, you need time Time factors - no time for conversation to grow Fine media interviews that are conversations Genuine interactions Conversational style solos5. Conversations to create personal changeKey Points Coaching and counselling conversations Building advanced questioning skills Using deep listening skills Bus-stop break-throughs PART 4: CONVERSATIONS CHANGING THE WORLD/ BIG CONVERSATIONS1. Conversations to Change the WorldNegotiation High level conversations2. &am
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