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A woman sitting in a Parisian café reads a letter telling her to take the train to Venice, pick a man of the sender's height and build, and chat him up. She's being watched: Scotland Yard and a mobster with a crew of Russian thugs are looking for a man she knows. On the train, she talks to an American, Frank, suggests they have dinner, and, once in Venice, invites him to her hotel. The bait is set: the Russians think Frank is the man they want: Alexander Pearce, who stole billions from the mobster. Scotland Yard realizes Frank is a just a tourist, but by now he's in danger, smitten by the mystery woman, and in their way. Can the Yard keep Frank from death and still catch Pearce?
Elise (Angelina Jolie) sits next to an American tourist, Frank (Johnny Depp), on a train going to Venice. She has chosen him as a decoy, making believe that he is her lover who is wanted by police. Not only will they need to evade the police, but also the mobster whose money her lover stole.
From virtually the very first scene, this movie bored me, with the result being that I found it difficult to pay close attention and for a while was totally lost as I tried to figure out the plot. Such as it was, the story revolves around a case of mistaken (or at least uncertain) identity. Angelina Jolie played Elise, apparently some sort of British agent who's mixed up with a super criminal (played by Johnny Depp.) There are a small handful of humorous moments in this, and an even smaller number of exciting scenes, but generally speaking, this lacked any sense of energy from the very first moment - a flaw with the story that was mirrored by the performances of the cast, none of whom seemed especially excited to have been involved with this. It's a major disappointment, the best part of the whole movie perhaps being some wonderful shots of Venice, Italy.
Greetings again from the darkness. Ahh, beautiful people in beautiful places. That's a good start! Throw in some amazing film blood lines: directed by Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck (The Lives of Others), writers Christopher McQuarrie (The Usual Suspects), Julian Fellowes (Gosford Park) and Jerome Salle. Salle wrote and directed the 2005 French film that this one is based on - Anthony Zimmer. The stellar cast is led by Angelina Jolie and Johnny Depp, and includes Paul Bettany, Timothy Dalton, Rufus Sewell and the always solid Steven Berkhoff. No way to mess this one up, right?? Somehow, despite all of that, the final product is a jumble of tired visual stunts, lame dialogue and a twist so obvious it might as well have been in the trailer. The aim was a thriller with involvement of mobsters, stolen millions, boat chases, rooftop shootings, crackling dialogue intertwined with dangerous settings and high fashion. The biggest failing is with the dialogue ... so many wasted moments. The give and take between Depp and Jolie is just outright lame. Where is the payoff for sitting through the endless string of stupid moves from Scotland Yard inspectors? The police tail on Jolie's character looked like something from the Pink Panther movies ... only it is played straight! Same with the interactions between the two stars. How about some playful banter? Did Depp's character need to be so dull? A math teacher from Wisconsin. Really? And poor Angelina. She is used as a flesh and blood Jessica from Who Framed Roger Rabbit. EVERYTHING about her is exaggerated! Yet, she still flashes her glances like her characters from Salt or any other action film she has upgraded over the years. It just doesn't work here. And I have to mention the absurdity of the chase scenes through the Venice canal. It's not very often a boat chase scene is limited to 4 knots speed. How could the shooters miss time after time? At least we were treated to some stunning shots of Venice. That's the only positive I can offer for this one.
The Tourist is less likely to be remembered for its cat-and-mouse machinations than for the beautiful people carrying them out.
While on the train from Paris to Venice, American tourist Frank Tupelo (<a href="/name/nm0000136/">Johnny Depp</a>) shares a seat with Elise Clifton-Ward (<a href="/name/nm0001401/">Angelina Jolie</a>), a beautiful but mysterious British woman. They strike up a conversation, have dinner together, and Elise invites Frank to share her hotel room. However, Frank is actually being set up. Elise has been ordered by her ex-lover, Alexander Pearce, who stole 2.3 billion dollars from British gangster Reginald Shaw (<a href="/name/nm0000925/">Steven Berkoff</a>), to board that train, pick out a man who resembles him, and make it look like this man is Pearce in order to throw off Shaw and his Russian thugs, who believe Frank is really Pearce, as well as throwing off Scotland Yard, who knows Frank is just an innocent decoy but also wants Pearce for tax evasion. The Tourist is a remake of <a href="/title/tt0411118/">Anthony Zimmer (2005)</a>, a 2005 French film written and directed by French film-maker Jérôme Salle. The screenplay for The Tourist was co-written by American screenwriter Christopher McQuarrie, English screenwriter Julian Fellowes, and German filmmaker Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck (who also directed). Agents from Scotland Yard have been following Elise, hoping that she would lead them to Pearce. Having no photo of him but knowing that Pearce has recently undergone facial reconstruction surgery, they assume Frank is Pearce and photograph him having dinner with Elise. Yard Inspector John Acheson (<a href="/name/nm0079273/">Paul Bettany</a>) receives the photo and does a face recognition, discovering that Frank is indeed Frank Tupelo, a simple math teacher from Wisconsin. However, an informer within the Yard notices the photo, concludes that it's a true photo of Pearce, and forwards it directly to Shaw. Shaw then turns around his private jet and heads to Venice. While Acheson holds Frank handcuffed in their surveillance boat, Elise goes to the Fondamenta San Giocomo to keep her rendezvous with Pearce, not knowing that she is being followed by Shaw and his thugs. They take her captive and threaten to kill her unless she shows them where the safe is hidden. Although both Acheson and Frank can see everything that it going on via audiovisual link, Acheson refuses to heed Frank's pleas to get Elise out of there, because he is certain that, if he holds out long enough, Pearce will show up. Elise eventually points out that the safe is hidden behind a wall medallion of the Roman god Janus but she doesn't know the combination to open the safe. Once again Shaw threatens to kill her, and once again Acheson refuses to intervene. Suddenly, Acheson detects movement in the courtyard and sees who he thinks is Pearce attempting to rescue Elise. It turns out to be Frank, having picked his way out of the handcuffs and fled the boat. Claiming to be Pearce, Frank tells Shaw that he will open the safe if Elise is first released, but Shaw refuses to release Elise until Frank opens the safe. As Frank walks toward the safe, Elise mouths, "I love you." Back in the surveillance boat, Chief Inspector Jones (<a href="/name/nm0001096/">Timothy Dalton</a>) suddenly boards and overrides Acheson's command, giving the police snipers the order to shoot Shaw. Shots ring out, and Shaw and his three thugs lay dead on the floor. Meanwhile, the police report that they have captured Pearce, but he is revealed to be just a tourist who was being paid by someone he didn't know to be at certain places at certain times. With everyone distracted by the tourist, Frank opens the safe, leaving behind a check for £744 milion, signed by A. Pearce. In the final scene, Frank and Elise sail away together. Elise says to Frank, "Twenty million dollars' worth of plastic surgery, and that's the face you choose?" "Do you not like it?" Frank asks. "It'll do," she replies. It's revealed that Elise was sent to Russia as an undercover agent to find Pearce but that she "went dark". Acheson believes that she fell in love with Pearce and couldn't decide whether she was with him or with the Yard.This time she chooses to be "with" him. The song is "Starlight" by Muse. "Map of the Problematique" by Muse from their 2006 album Black Holes and Revelations. a5c7b9f00b

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