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i read this book in one sitting, on a plane from l.a. to nyc, and it just knocked my socks off. and i came up with a scenerio: imagine if i was flying cross country for some kind of mcewanesque purpose … suppose last time i had been in new york I had met a girl, had spent only a few hours with her, but came back changed. i walked around los angeles buzzed, different, everything slightly altered, colored with that feeling… alright, yeah, it sounds stupid, but go with me (and mcewan) on this. what if i just couldn’t get her outta my head. i mean what if this girl was just perfect, like so ridiculously smart and funny and beautiful and just had that ineffable thing that only very very few people that you ever meet in your life have... i mean, what if, prick atheist that i am, i just knew that this was something important? does one behave cautiously and cower before the impossibility and impracticality of a geographically-challenged love affair? does one cower before doubt and fear and insecurity and the unknown and the possiblity of failure?or does one shove all that useless stuff aside and burst forward, chest out and fists clenched, and grab one’s fate by the throat rather than be content as ‘attendant lord’? well… this is the stuff of mcewan’s fiction. he’s obsessed with that one moment and all the various possibilites which extend outward into time and space --- whether it be a shared glance while hanging from the dangling ropes of a quickly ascending hot air balloon or the reaction to a disastrous night of naïve lovemaking or being attacked by two canine rapists (seriously) or, as in my case, a magical but unrealistic night spent knocking around lower east side bars… and one can’t help but wonder, in reading his books, if one were put in the place of one of mcewan’s protagonists, how he/she would react… as per my imaginary scenerio: would one go for it? or would it be smarter to think with the mind over the heart (you want what you can’t have, grass is always greener, love is a biological imperative necessary for survival of the species), to consider the negatives (3000 miles is a lot of space between), to be practical (plenty of girls in los angeles)… would i go for it? would i jump on a plane for her? would i risk looking like a crazy person? would i risk rejection and heartbreak? would it be the smart (fuck smart) move to get involved with someone i would rarely see in person? would i throw caution (fuck caution) to the wind and make some kind of grand gesture to a girl i’ve only actually seen in the flesh about 4 days in my life? would i blow off the world and take her down to, say, south america for a week?or perhaps i would -- as so many of mcewan’s tragic protagonists do -- take the reasonable route and allow fate to determine my course?hmmm….
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