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Some good tips but difficult to execute. If you have one child and infinite amounts of time it would be perfect. But after a day and a half of trying to implement these techniques, Im exhausted. Im constantly trying to come up with choices and constantly trying to remember all the stupid phrases Im supposed to use to protect my fragile snowflakes egos. It really works when you have the time and emotional energy but most of us dont. Edit: I wrote this in a fit of frustration in trying to make these techniques work. Now that Ive had some time to think about it, I realize that the issue is bigger than trying to get kids to behave. The problem is that with all these self help books, marriage and family help books, and even many spiritual help books, they focus on trying harder. The author in this books attempts to differentiate her parenting style from other styles as something new. It isnt, it is the same old thing that every parent everywhere is attempting over and over. And where this book is successful is that it gives concrete examples and warnings of possible pitfalls. And these do work, when you are not overly tired or overly stressed. It takes a lot of mental energy to accomplish what she lays out.Remarkably, as I was reading this, everything she suggests is exactly what I had done for a long time. I actually gave it up because I found myself frustrated. Asking for things instead of telling, negotiating for better solutions, etc. We want to parent like that, we want our kids to feel a part of things. That is why these books appeal. They appeal to our sense of justice and rightness.But it all comes back to trying harder. If you just try harder at these simple techniques everything will be better, oh and be consistent because it only works if you are consistent. That right there is the snake oil salesman line. Because consistency is impossible. And sometimes I think these authors know it but it comes back to a whole culture that thrives on telling women to try harder. Try harder to lose weight, try harder to fix your marriage, try harder to raise your kids.The real problem isnt the weight, the marriage or even the kids. The real problem is us, the mothers, the wives, the women. We believe all this tripe and all the science that backs it up and tell ourselves to just try harder. I dont know at all how to raise healthy kids, I try and try and try, some days Im successful, some days Im a failure. I dont know what the answer is but I think it starts with self care and self love and those arent things you can try harder to attain. They are things we need space to allow into our lives.
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