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Top BDSM Dating Sites For Fetish & Kinksters (2021)
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You’ve decided a vanilla sex life is not for you or your partners, congratulations! Luckily for you, the internet is at your fingertips and so is access to tons of BDSM and kink dating sites and apps. As the culture is becoming more accepting of alternative lifestyles and sexual preferences the kink groups are coming out of the shadows.
Long gone is the shame and secrecy of liking a little whipping and spanking. There are giant communities of people that are into exactly what you are and are willing to play and teach alongside you. There are even huge festivals like the Folsom Street Fair where BDSM dating takes its passions to the streets. You can use many of these apps to find events, local meetings, and group sex near you.
Now as exciting as it is that BDSM dating sites and mobile apps are in abundance, unfortunately, they are not all created equal. They all have different specialties or pros and cons. We took the liberty of doing all the legwork of painstakingly trying and testing all the best options so you don’t have to. Our reviews of each site will help you find your perfect fit and have you tied up in no time.
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Alt.com is a great place to explore BDSM dating. This place is an adult dating site that celebrates the BDSM, Fetish and Kink lifestyle. Whether you’re looking to find people to date or you are wanting to learn more about specific kinks Alt can help.
Alt.com does have a free version but the capabilities are pretty limited. You’ll need to upgrade your account to access user-profiles and information. Your privacy is protected on Alt so users can share as much or as little as they want. You will have to verify your email address to help the site weed out fake profiles.
The members on Alt.com can be described as sexually adventurous, sex-positive kinksters. This sites has non-judgemental members who will help you feel welcome and safe discussing your deepest desires. Fetish lovers welcome to a haven just for you.
Now, if you’re into kinks and fetishes you may not think to use this site. Well, the great news for you, is that Ashley Madison is actually great for kinksters. Many of the users on this site are seeking exciting, new sexual experiences, and that includes kinks.
I know a lot of you are probably thinking about thatunfortunate security breach that happened on Ashley Madison a few years back. You can rest assured that they’ve seriously stepped up the security so you can rest assured, your secret is safe with them.
Ashley Madison is totally free for women. For men, the site uses a credit system. Credit packs start at $49.
When you begin your search for the perfect fetish dating site Fetlife is definitely one you’ll come across. with over 8 million members, FetLife is one of the largest online hubs for kinksters! Imagine Facebook but minus your grandma and plus a lot of whips, chains, and couple videos. While Facebook bosts groups for swapping antiques FetLife groups are more fetish based. These groups contain everything from water play to rope tying 101.
On FetLife you can make friends with others in the platform that share your same interests and kinks. As a couple or an individual, you can meet people on FetLife and take your relationship from online dating apps to real life. Participating in discussions will help you find people into what you’re into so this is very much encouraged.
Besides making friends and participating in discussions FetLife offers a great way to find kink events and videos. Groups you participate in might have monthly meetups or other events where you can put your kinks to the test. Meet up with the people you’ve been communicating with but be wary there may be fake profiles out there as well.
According to their site, Fetster is a “BDSM free dating spirit, for users interested in BDSM, singles, personals, social networking, dates and more.” If these are the things you’re looking for Fetster might be for you.
Besides being a spot to find fetish dating Fetster also encourages education and social networking. If you’re curious or passionate about cuckolding, suspension or pleasure control Fetster has niches just for you.
One bold claim that’s enough of a reason to join Fetster is that they claim to be free forever! This includes messaging and joining groups and forums. For free you really don’t have much to lose and may as well see if this site works for you. You’ll find a BDSM dating in no time on Fetster.
One word of warning the inference of Fetster is pretty old. Don’t expect an app or an algorithm any time soon. The site is a little clumsy to navigate but once you’ve done your digging it will be worth it. There are definitely some great nuggets of information here and real users to interact with.
There are some guidelines enforced by moderators on the /BDSM personals page. These guidelines include not publicly sharing contact information (only via direct message) and only posting once a week. Being rude is not tolerated in the subreddit page and you will be removed if you try to be cruel.
Best practices for using Reddit for adult dating are to join the group. After you have done that you’ll want to set up your personals ad. Be specific about who you are and what you are looking for. Again do not disclose contact information on your post but simply ask users to DM you to contact you.
If you’ve been looking for your BDSM dating and fetish utopia, then Fetish may be the place for you. When you are exploring fetish or kink sites you’ll probably find them to be all dark and intimidating, maybe a little reflective of the people involved. That shouldn’t be the case! Like with the kink and fetish culture you should feel safe and welcomed. Fetish.com offers this experience.
Fetish.com does offer some adult dating but mainly facilitates a space for members to learn about their kinks in a nonjudgemental way. This site does a great job of normalizing kinks in a way that we wish a lot of other sites would. The content on this site is helpful and educational rather than just a barrage of nude photos.
dating is not easy If you are not sure what your kinks are just yet thats okay. Once you set up your profile you can select from a large list (over 200+) of kinks that help you narrow down exactly what you’re into. This site does facilitate kink hookups a well. Instead of “liking” profiles, you can spank them, a cute twist on modern online dating.
You may not be sure if the dating site is a good fit for you so they do offer a ton of free access. You will need to upgrade your account to get more features like view more profiles or send messages. With the free version, you can get the general gist of the site and who uses it.
This dating site is extremely inclusive. Not only are they open to all genders and sexual orientations but they are also open if you are a couple or singles alike. The site has a huge offering of kinks to select from so chances are yours will be included and you can find others that love that as well.
Unlike a lot of the sites listed MatchBDSM does offer an algorithm experience where they actually pair you with someone. As opposed to just giving you a list of members and expecting you to find someone. This site is mobile friendly and easy to use from your phone or desktop but there is no mobile app yet.
Still, keep your wits about you as you use any of these adult dating sites. Common sense will go along way in this space. Make sure you are protecting your identity and looking out for red flags.
On BDSM there is a free trial but you really don’t get much from it. You can read their magazine and thats about it. To get access to profiles and chatrooms you will have to pay. Be aware that many women may be paid to interact with you as well. You can use your ALT login to login to BDSM as well so you really get two sites for one.
GayBDSMDate is a pretty open site where pretty much anything goes. You’ll find this site is a lot less tame than sites that cater to straight couples. There are chatrooms that are unmoderated so anything goes as well as webcam shows.
One great feature of this site is that the free trial does have some pretty great capabilities. You won’t need to upgrade until you’ve got a good feel for the experience. Upgrading does vary in cost but we will cover that further down.
There is a robust free trial but upgrades cost between $20 – $30 a month depending on what offer you receive.
BDSMdatelink.com offers 24/7 live chat so you can get kinky whenever your heart desires. Once you create your free account, you can start scrolling through profiles. I have to say, I was quite impressed by how many women were on the site. Better yet, theseladies are not shy about showing off their beautiful assets right on their profiles.
I highly recommend this site to anyone who is seeking a partner for all their BDSM related activities. You can easily find people in your city who love to get down and dirty. The only downside to this site is that the free features are pretty limited. You’ll have to upgrade access to all of the chat and email features.
One of the coolest things about Bondage.com is the ability to create or join online kinky clubs. Some of the most popular groups on this site are The GangBang Underground, and Degradation and Debauchery. You get the idea here. These folks are kinky and proud of it.
If you’re looking for an inclusive website where you can have a lot of fun, Bondage.com is absolutely awesome. I would recommend this site to both beginners and experienced kinksters.
Subs-and-doms.com was made specifically for people searching for a sub or dom match in their area. Oftentimes people in this community struggle to find the best match for their needs, and this website can really help you out in that arena. This siteis great for men, women, and transgender people who are looking for a mistress, master, or sub.
This site has a lot of active users so it’s easy to find other kinky individuals to chat with. There are also a ton of interactive forums where you can learn about specific kinks, chat with other users, and join in on discussions.
You can also use this site to find events and parties in your area. For instance, I went to the forum section of the site and found several forums dedicated to kinky meetups, gay clubs, and swinger’s parties just to name a few. This site is perfect for those of you who areready to dive headfirst into the world of kink and fetish.
BDSM or bondage, discipline, sadism, and masochism, is a consensual often sexual relationship between two people where a power exchange has occurred. One person is considered the subordinate while the other is dominant. The foundation of BDSM dating is trust. People engaging in this kink are giving their partner the power to hurt them but trusting that they won’t.
In BDSM play there can be bondage play, where one partner is restrained by the other often by silk-ties or cuffs. There is discipline where the dom sets up rules for their sub to follow. These rules can be punishable to whatever degree the dom and sub agree to. The S/M or sadomasochism is sometimes hard for people to understand. Sadomasochists receive pleasure from giving or receiving pain. Pain can often lead to intense pleasure and a deepened bond between practitioners.
Now, let’s get into our top fetish dating sites and some apps so you can find your tribe and let the good times roll.
Hello, my name is Tony Parker, entrepreneur, sex blogger, and founder of Kinkyhookup.com. I have over 10 years of experience in sex and online dating, and I have spent most of my life learning the art of kink, fetish, and BDSM. I created KinkyHookup as a way to create a community of like-minded people.
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