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My TakeThere are books that are poorly written and books that you just don’t like. The Future King’s Bride transcends both into this-really-is-the-worst-book-I’ve-ever-read-territory. I honestly cannot think of a single work of fiction which is more poorly worded or less entertaining. I can think of better fanfics, the only one rating lower being My Immortal, which at least makes my Must Read lists for it’s sheer horror.Here’s a quick reenactment of what I haven’t been able to block out:Gianferro: I am Crown Prince of a small made up Mediterranean island who plans on marrying an English maiden. I must stay detached and aloof from the world, so I will use stiff language and many clichés.Lulu: I’m glad to be engaged to a prince, even though I don’t know him. I paint my nails and flirt. Slut alert! Slut alert!Gianferro: I cannot marry her. She is not a virgin! (This I quote)Millie: I am young and naïve and would make you the perfect wife because you could spend the next hundred pages sounding like you have a stick up your ass as you correct my stupidity.Gianferro: Yes! And then I can temporarily abandon you, because of your minor lies and because you make me feel things I’ve never felt before. And unlike most romance hero’s, I will not get over this complex.Millie: Now that I am married and have experienced physical pleasure, I am a worldly woman, no longer naïve, only stupid. I will run home to my slutty sister until I find the courage to face you…Gianferro: When you finally do face me-I don’t even remember what happens. I was just so glad for the book to finally be over.What to Watch Out For:Normally I’d write out a list of generally offensive or annoying aspects, but then I’d have to TRANSCRIBE THE WHOLE FRIGGIN’ BOOK!
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