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Book description
all the eighth graders at stoneybrook middle school have to write an autobiography. this is staceys. as such, it has no plot whatsoever. i read it like two weeks ago & forgot to review it, so lets see what i can remember. warning: probably not much, thanks to the plotlessness.she writes about how her fourth birthday was her favorite because her parents took her to the plaza for lunch & she ran around in the hallways like a spoiled brat, pretending to be eloise.when she was five, her mom was working at macys & would buy tons of cute little kid clothes for stacey every single day. shed bring them home, dress stacey up, & then return them if stacey didnt look perfect in them. both stacey & her mother enjoyed this activity quite a lot. suddenly the mcgills divorce seems a thousand times more understandable. due to the macys connection, stacey was selected to be one of six little girls to sit on the cinderella float during the macys thanksgiving day parade. stacey is obsessed with cinderella & thinks shes a real person, so she is awestruck by this invitation. i thought it was going to conclude with stacey panicking about meeting her idol & crying too much to be on the float, but that doesnt happen. stacey tells everyone shes going to be on TV & everyone arranges to watch for her & tape the parade so she can see it herself. but during the parade, cinderellas crown blows off. stacey stoops down to pick up--right as the float rolls in front of the TV cameras. so she doesnt get to be on TV after all. but after the parade, cinderella gives stacey the crown. which...because we all know cinderella isnt real, this woman is obviously an actress & she probably doesnt own the cinderella costume. so she really has no right to just give pieces of it away to little girls. that is not addressed. what is addressed is that no one saw stacey on TV. i thought it was then going to turn into a story about stacey getting teased by classmates who thought she was lying about being on the float, but she shows them all the crown & theyre like, cool, you were on TV. what a lame story.when stacey is seven, her mother & her best friends laines mother enroll her & laine in a ballroom dancing class. but stacey & laine dont want to learn how to ballroom dance. so they skip class & walk around the block instead. then they lie to their parents & tell them it was great. they convince their parents that they can wear regular casual clothes to class, & that there isnt going to be a recital. their parents believe all of this & never check up about any of it or do anything to make sure stacey & laine are actually attending the classes. after weeks of this, stacey & laine decide to use their ballroom class-skipping time to take the bus to FAO schwarz. but the bus is traveling a lot more slowly than they expected & they end up getting back to the ballroom dancing class building way later than they should have. their parents have panicked & called the police, & when laine & stacey appear, the ballroom dancing instructor confirms that they havent attended a single class. the parents get mad & re-enroll stacey & laine, & this time, they escort them directly to class rather than dropping them off in the lobby. LIKE THEY SHOULD HAVE DONE IN THE FIRST PLACE BECAUSE THEY ARE SEVEN YEARS OLD.the next story is about staceys family going on vacation. usually they go to the caribbean or hawaii or something. stacey hopes that theyll go to europe again. but her parents have chosen instead to go an island off the coast of maine. there are only four houses on the island, no phones, no grocery stores, no nothing. stacey is PISSED. she wanted to go to the beach or the alps. she thinks shell be bored out of her mind. she meets a girl her age who lives year-round on the island, but when stacey asks if its boring, the girl gets mad & they have a weird little tiff. stacey thinks the girl is a hick & the girl thinks stacey is a stuck-up spoiled brat (*ding ding ding*). then staceys father falls & breaks his ankle & the girl saves the day by driving him to the dock in her familys pick-up truck (she was taught how to drive for emergency purposes like this) so he can take a boat to the mainland & get to a hospital. while all of that is going on, stacey is tapped to watch the girls baby sister--her first sitting job.after stacey moves back to new york city from stoneybrook, before her parents get divorced, claudia comes to visit for a weekend. stacey thinks theyll have a great time, but claudia is acting kind of grouchy. stacey tries to cheer her up by recommending restaurants & shops & talking about hoe awesome new york city is, but it doesnt work. claudia just gets grumpier. finally claudia admits that stacey is making her feel like new york is the best & stoneybrook sucks. talk about your manufactured conflicts. stacey apologizes & all is well.stacey gets an A on her autobiography.
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