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Book description

Book description
Im a big fan of the bachelor/bachelorette, so was excited to read this book. Id give it 0 stars, but anyone who can finish writing a book deserves at least one star, right? This is what Ive learned from and about Andi Dorfman while reading her attempt at a self-help guide/checklist in book format:1) She likes alcohol. No, she LOVES alcohol. Her drink of choice is red wine, but shes made it clear that shes all about anything thats been fermented. Heres a few quotes to demonstrate:The only thing that makes me feel better is being asleep or buzzedThe bed is my boyfriend, Mr. Cabernet is my best friendLesson learned, stay away from the self-help, but dont stay away from the red wine2) It is completely acceptable to dehumanize your ex-boyfriends/fiancé/any male who has made the unfortunate decision to entwine with you temporarily by taking away their names. Nothing says I have zero respect for you like replacing someones name with a Number. (Poor Poor #26)3) If you must refer to you ex-beaus as something other than their respective numbers, feel free to call them any nasty name/insult you can think of, and feel free to not even get creative. When no one is home and you sit down armed with your pen, paper and pissed off attitude to write out your Master ass hole list dont even bother with any unique names for the ass hole whos no longer in your life. Stick with the basics; narcissist, selfish, prick, douchebag, and tool. Andis sob story of how the world has done her wrong is clearly summed up by her phone contacts, which include Douchebag (LA), Douchbag 2, plain-old Douchebag, Dont answer and make sure you cycle through POS (Piece of shit) and Dumb Jock before finally adding a new one to your list, Regret.4) The WORLD is out to get Andi Dorfman, or rather, anyone who is not part of her girl squad is out to get Andi Dorfman. Andi Dorfman was not a member of a relationship that failed, she was a victim of it and as such, she takes zero culpability for anything she has done, ever. 5) When it doesnt work out with someone who you claimed to have loved deeply, it is absolutely acceptable to turn into the crazy nightmare nobody ever wanted to know. Throw Any respect you once had for this person out the door. In fact, go ahead and take it a step further and burn their stuff-literally, and yours too while youre at it, in someone elses fireplace. Because any sane person with an ounce of self-control would do that. 6) Speaking of someone elses fireplace, if you break up with your significant other, go ahead and live in someone elses home for MONTHS. Nothing puts added strain on your engaged friends life or own relationship than having a self-absorbed and needy house guest. Dont feel pressured to get your own place or to go back to that job you cant stop bragging that you used to have where you were forced to work -gasp- 60 hours a week for -bigger gasp- only $57,000/year!! 7) Andi dorfman has never met a designer brand she didnt like, but lets be real-Shoes are life. This girl even refers to break ups with an analogy about credit card debt due to buying too many high end clothesObviously, I wasnt a big fan of this book. I was so shocked at just how immature her entire perspective was on basically everything she discussed. Shes like the classic mean girl brat with an inflated sense of self you would expect to see in, well, mean girls. I sincerely hope that no one follows her break-up or life advice.
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