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Ice cream, you scream, we scream, they scream and we all scream for ice cream. Your throat hurts from all of that screaming? We got what you need. The unmarked bills will spoon feed your raw throat with thirty nine flavors of this war has no end. My nieces always want the rainbow cream flavor even though its dank every single time. Maybe this time will be different. Its after the 1999 bombing of Serbia if that helps put together the humpty dumpty crumbling walls together again. Would it help make death a little more human if he pulled back the local team hoodie. Uh, soccer? Football! I know this one. My worldliness ice cream cone melts here. Its senseless genocide and country lines that someone made up. My Lolita Eurovision glasses appear on head. An English man once explained to me the discord between European countries as owing to sport. He denied Eurovision had any play but I knew better. Bosnian Flat Dog helmet helmers Max Andersson and Lars Sjunnesson are Swedish. Who can care about Eurovision at a time like this? No, I couldnt possibly go for any dessert after all of that fulfilling subfrozen treat topping me off. The detectives on the scene note the tv playing in the background. Hey, think theyll be the new Ace of Base? The futures so bright. Gotta, you know, peak behind that rainbow warriors (thats NASCAR to the lay person) veil. Youre telling me its surreal? I mean, Eurovision. This is America! No teams. Do we not bleed (the 40th flavor).BASED ON TRUE EVENTS. This true event. A mummy in a fridge. I would like to write that I followed when Tito became the zombie prostitute, I really would. Pardon me if youve heard this story already. I call it one of the two unanswerable mysteries of my life. 1. What a German skinhead (not to stereotype because thats wrong), who may or may not have out of the blue shook my hand the night before, shouted out to me from a moving vehicle. If I were to learn fluent German I still could not retroactively remember or understand what he said (no beer can that time so hey! Who says history is doomed to repeat itself?). 2. In the 1980s film Mona Lisa, the teenage prostitute (Kate Hardie) tells the Bob Hoskins character (a recently released ex con who chauffeurs a prostitute) that they can only eat ice cream. Hes scoffed at as hopelessly naive when he asks why this is so. My much younger self was annoyed that they didnt just tell him. Too many blow jobs? I want to know! I am confused about why Tito is a zombie prostitute. Is it because of the ice cream?! Just the one mention, Mars. Let it go. (Lifes great mystery number three.) Serbian ice cream ad on youtube. Yum! (Im lactose intolerant, actually. Fuckers.)I did a half ass google search about an underground ice cream factory in Pale. I knew I shouldnt have slept that day in history class. Class, please turn to page 40. The Bosnian flat dogs inherited the four flat corners of the Earth... The fourth thing I will never know is which parts were based on fact. I dont have any earthly idea, or zombie in a fridge idea why the Srebrenica women were playing a game of risk as if those colored plastic pieces were ice cream bombs to launch at their enemies. The ice cream causalities were edible like the monkeys in the Philippines during Japanese occupation. The sight of the open mouths like tortured denizens of hell waiting at the slower than a ketchup ad tap for ice cream made me so sad. If I had seen the refugees in Bosnia I would see their haunted hunger like when people ask me if Ive found Jesus. I havent. I want to find them and take them with me, if Im going anywhere good enough to feed them all. Maybe Jesus could. The authors wrote Bosnian Flat Dog together over four years time. Every panel has a line from them both. Every expression bends to their handwriting that a specialist could say means He cant stop thinking about the refugees in Bosnia. Maybe the specialist has been trained to look for certain things and he brings a rule book to the part. THAT away from the light slant says he cant walk upright anymore. Black and white what the fuck? Why interrupt the show to talk about the authors? They thought about working on Bosnian Flat Dog a lot. Im really not going to make claims that I had a great grasp on what the hell was going on (Bosnian Flat Dogs were made from war exposure like if the teenage mutant ninja turtles didnt meet a wise ass rat who kept them fed in pizza. They had to eat paper like the most neurotic mentalist who can only be soothed by tearing). If you have to interrupt the show to explain everything that was going on (and I was less confused before they did this)... Why does it gotta be about them? The handwriting specialist needs to shut up and they should draw like they are dancing as if they didnt rehearse the damned thing for four years. I think its telling that everything Ive found on the internet about this book talks about the four years, how they wrote every part together, how no one knows who did what. The Eurovision tv plays in the background. The detective goes home at night and talks about how hard it was for him. Maybe it is and should be but I dont wanna go home and talk about how hard it was for them. What about the dogs eating their paper? The comic artist is lost and writes about it all on the highly recyclable paper. The diary tunnel doesnt write to the way out. Its suspended above heads that would have question bubbles if thats the way the handwriting slant was feeling. Its like the end of Message in the Bottle by The Police when everyone is looking for a home. My favorite image is probably Skeldar (its bad but Im not positive thats his name) above those poor hungry bastards. The ice cream man laid up helpless in a cot. What? I only wanted to sell ice cream. Oh, its so sad, that poor thing. Far away like a tv set.I am not really sure what all went on, still. Titos leg was given away to feed refugees. But it wasnt THEIR leg! What about that zombie? The detective stands in front of the fridge (air conditioning the whole neighborhood while hes at it!) and watches Eurovision. No, still the open mouths of the refugees is the most affecting of all the art in the book. The mummys stare belongs to the writers who can sound out the growl for themselves. That and the dogs chewing their paper. I kind of want to feed them. I dont know what to do about those others guy hunger. I guess thats why they wrote a comic book about it and had an exhibit about the whole thing (the mummy in the fridge was there).
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