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︎DNI !! Homophobic, Jametphobic, religion phobic, Problematic people, Racist, Using mental health for a jokez Ngab-Hyung/ers, Drama people, cyber bullying, anime/kpop phobic, Plagiarisme.

TW/CW !! trypophobia, jumpscare, blood, LGBT+, abuse, depressien, selfharm, NSFW, ghost/horror, harshwords, my sensitive conten.

︎ ︎ ︎ ︎About me? Huh?... I'm an ordinary teenager who might not have any advantages.. but I have a few advantages in the field of art, and even then according to my teacher hahaha. Briefly about me, I like the number 09, I really like coffee by listening to music, I was born in a fairly religious family, this really makes me feel very strict with the rules, but I feel enjoy doing whatever it is, as well as when studying, I also listen to music, strange.. I don't like crowds but that's all I can do when studying to concentrate, I hate clowns, since childhood I really hate clowns, I have a trauma with clowns, I'm an introvert person, I'm not good at communicating with new people. I tend to be a very closed person to everyone, even only certain people who know me deeply, or know me about anything.︎

I'm jealous because I can't compete with them, I can't be the best version of myself, I can't even heal the open wounds from the past, and I can't put all my little pieces together. reinventing myself, I wanted to open up with my parents. but it will only make me humiliated and punished, traumatic things will happen again from them, they will be very rude, even i will be bullied like a crocodile full of conflict, and actually at home i was never securely bound, but outside i became someone who pretends my life is normal.

Most people think of me as being strong, untroubled and enjoying life. Always seemed so happy because of traveling and stuff. Okay, it doesn't matter. Let them keep thinking that way. The truth remains a secret. Isn't that what it's supposed to be? It's a leak. A few. I'm actually at a point where I'm not sure and confused. I'm exhausted. It's not uncommon for me to complain to certain people, of course. I'm starting to wonder what I really want. Trying to find new joy in things I might be able to do.

Holding this feeling really torments me it feels like being stabbed by a needle feels tight. The more I fight this feeling, the tighter and more excruciating it becomes. I hope they know how I feel right now. However, it was all in vain. I always felt they had no respect at all. hahaha maybe(?) I will get rid of this feeling.

and Humans have brains must think. Twenty-four hours, apart from sleep, the brain continues to work consciously. Some are so hard because they solve their own problems, some are moderate because they are helped by other people's solutions, some are light because they only do repetitive actions.

That's not counting the various unimportant questions that sometimes come to mind by themselves. What will happen to me tomorrow huh? Do I die going to heaven? Have I been useful today? Again and again questions keep coming up, some are even beyond our control and difficult to find answers to, we still have time to think about it, I am a person who is easy to overthink, and I try to avoid that.