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Date: Tue, 22 Aug 2017 17:10:04 -0800

From: Donald J. Trump <dj.trump@whitehouse.gov>

To: Владимир В. Путин <vv.putin@government.ru>

Subject: Yo! Having a nice weekend?

Hey, Mr. Putin! I hope everything's just fine over there.

Just wanted to show you how happy I am with my new big, beautiful, wonderful toys I just acquired from your neat country! I'm not sure where to deploy them but I was thinking about definitely getting rid of drug-dealers and rapists by targeting Mexico City! But fret not, my good ol' friend! It will look like an act of terrorism so I can blame the dirty brownish people from turban-land! Aw, man, I'm so amazing!

Well, in other news, I'm finally investing for innovation on my country and I'm planning to launch a new project somewhere near Syria, and I was wondering if you and your marvelous country are willing to help. I'm gonna need some uranium and I'd really appreciate some tonnes—'cause you know, you can never be too greedy!—, and as always, just for science!

Best wishes Vladie!