//

as raw as i want this to be, honestly this is 70%. at 100%, theres swearing and negative self talk that wasnt helpful or necessary because its wayyy too emotional and making a big deal out of nothing.

somehow keeping all of these thoughts in my notes app just didnt seem to make things more real than they really are, it didnt seem to do justice to my experiences. maybe its about accepting them. coming to terms with them. or striving to be authentic and honest with myself and to others, or anyone who bothered to take notice. somehow hitting publish on a random site seemed like a necessary step on my journey to truly embrace it all. maybe im just here to find myself.

and if i do, i hope itll feel like im living in another dimension of myself. i hope itll be different, fleeting, but good. inshaAllah.