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I am a failure in anything I do. I have let myself down in body, spirit and mind. I have let my body get so disgusting that my stomach hangs down and my breast has become one with it. I have failed my children with belittling them at every turn. My son hates me, my daughter hates me, and I am ok with that. I hate my husband. I truly do. He is someone that has hurt me more than anyone on this earth has but I trick my mind to think I am in love with him. I have no family. My brother hates me, my mom has hated me since childhood, my father was absent. I am not wanted on this earth anymore, and I never was wanted. This is it. This is what I needed to say goodbye and take the plunge.