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I'm trying to be strong but reality kills me, makes me down. I don't know why I'm being like this. I'm trying to be optimistic but it takes big energy from me.

I'm feeling so lonely and unhappy in this big city, like i don't have any interest in this life. Everyday i wanna cry.

I don't complain about my life or work, or conditions. I complain about the hell that happening in my mind and i can't change it. The only thing that I can do is to hide it perfectly from other people that everyone thinks I'm fine.

Like this, there are lot of things that I can't tell anyone coz nobody will understand that. But judge only. That's why I save it in myself always: sadness, jealous, tears, loneliness, regrets, dreams. I wish I could be not so much responsible person.

Maybe i need psycho therapist. I'm trying my best to stay fine but it's hard in this world, in this big and noisy city. Hard...