:)

hi. i hope this explains enough.

srsly i terasa gila dgn apa yg you cakap. like that day you said you wait for me for almost 3 hours sbb i tak bagitau yg i makan, and siap after that. that time i thought, "oh okay the chat ends here so lemme do my things" so i tak bagitau. after that, i went to sleep. and i wake up with what? with you being mad at me sbb tak bagitau everything. i already said sorry but you said nvm and show indication that you were offended with what im doing.

srsly?

srs la satu hari i rasa stress. nope, bukan stress. tapi tah, i terasa dgn apa yg you cakap. lemme tell you one thing okay. my emotions srsly affect my health. yeah it is such a common thing FOR EVERYONE but srs, i penat la sakit2 semua ni. penat. bukan you yg rasa. tapi i.

if you cant make me feel happy, pls la stop making me feel so wounded deep inside. salah i, mesti you nampak. i tak bitau everything, i tak bagi apa you nak. nampak kan semua tu? oh well you might said you're my bf that you deserve to know everything but i still cant fit to the situation well. yes it's 6 month or something in number but idk la how to explain.

maybe it's my fault that i know nothing about relationships.

im typing this dgn rasa heavy gila. you know what (or either you sedar tak), kalau i cita something, kadang2 you cam tak excited pun so i malas nak bitau pape. you shifted the topic (which is normal in YOUR eyes) tapi i terasa. tahlah benda simple pun terasa. bodo sangat. macam, 'uh he's not listening. why bother telling?' ha centu.

and that time i dont tell you everything, you said it hurts you. bcs im not used to it. i tak biasa benda2 centu. yg everything kena bitau. so i rasa NORMAL la kalau tak bagitau. just the same as how you shifted the topic when im excitedly telling. it hurts me. but did i mention it everytime? "you, why tukar topic? it hurts me. it hurts but it's okay." — and continue merajuk and tell "i miss you. okay tu je. bye." did i do this?

— luls, that's what mature relationship is. i guess that's the way you defined it. okay okay.

and when i choose to shut up you will go "nanti dah okay, bagitau i" — will you listen? no. you wont.

banyak lagi benda yg i cakap tapi srs i tak larat. and i malas nak demand macam2 bcs im just who i am. and im in no position to ask for anything from you; since me myself isnt contributing anything to this relationship, right?

i taktau kenapa i cepat sangat terasa. I'll try to control it after this and see everything in a 'normal' way.

that's it. the rest, biar i jela tahu.